Terms of Indifference

Buffalo Pies

2007-08-19T12:27:00.000+07:00

I read an article in TIME magazine today about how Buffalo Exchange is hip and cheap, the best thing since buttered toast, etc.

Lies.

Filthy lies.

I dont know if its because they were looking at the store in Brooklyn (where it is likely that BE would be considered frugal by comparisson) or if its just Oregon. But the Buffalo Exchanges in Portland are crap. The clothes are not even that cheap ie, old ratty t-shirt from american eagle for $12 and some brand new trendy handbags for regular hangbag prices. And furthermore, the clothes are not what I would consider trendy either. Unless you are willing to hunt around in that store for hours at a time, weeks in a row. Then you might come up with something cool - like a Banana Republic wool coat for 20 or less.

Promo Time!

2007-02-01T04:44:00.000+07:00

I experienced my first martial arts promotion ceremony last night. Super fun!!

First we had to do a test. 2 katas (form dances) and 4 randomly chosen fighting techniques and some general knowledge about Kajukenbo. Then Sigung and Sibak, the instructors, would grumble amongst themselves. After that, it was time to kneel on the red line and reap the rewards. The first guy to get promoted was so nervous he couldnt even untie his belt!

And thats all good fun, but heres the really cool part --> when you get presented with your new belt you are expected to squat in front of the black belts (by squat I mean something like a horse stance, not european bathroom position). The master instructor, Mr A, places your new belt on your shoulder, tells you how proud he is of you (and in my case how much he loves you), says "Kajukenbo bless you forever" and proceeds to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU with the belt. He whips and lashes on your arms, legs, torso, what-have-you. Then, when that excitment is all over, the assistant instructor comes over, takes the belt, and does the same thing!

I almost cried! At my own damn promotion! I sort of screamed since I wasnt really expecting it to hurt as much as it did!

But, thankfully, I didnt cry. I dont think mine was the worst of the group anyway. The green belts got it really bad. Then afterwards we all hung out in the dojo and had some beverages of choice. All in all, it was a very interesting experience and I am proud to be my honey's first female purple belt. Yahoo!

Mele Kalikimaka Kakou!

2006-12-17T15:57:00.000+07:00

I have finished all my christmas shopping. Havent quite finished the christmas crafting. I have sent the cards, wrapped the gifts, decorated the house plants and television tops, and only lost electricity once.
When we were in Hawaii, as I fondled a CD of hawaiian holiday tunes at the swap meet, Mr A told me that he had a vast collection of the kalikimaka kind. I reluctantly put the disc back. I have since discovered that he has one CD, which he cant find. So the house tunes are same ole shit.
*NEW TOPIC*
Like a fickle freshman in high school, I have shunned Thai for the now super cool popular (North Face wearing) Hawaiian. Thats right, kids, if your best friend language just cant get with it and people just dont understand, you should kick em to the curb and instantaneously take interest in whatever Mr Popular Language is doing at that moment. Though I still use phrases such as mai au (dont want it), mai chop (dont like it), and mai bpen rai (doesnt matter) almost all basic nouns and noun phrases have been completely irradicated.
We have lots of language options in our house (Filipino is honeyboys new dialect of choice). Though neither Mr A nor I is actually fluent in anything, especially SAE, we both know enough of a wide range of 'olelos to remain discrete while discussing sensitive issues in public. I have decided to focus my studies on Hawaiiana, because I think it will reap the most rewards in the future. You know, the 15 other people who can actually speak Hawaiian will probably give me a thumbs up or something if I ever end up shipwrecked on Ni'ihau.
Anyway....
Youd think this would be easy, being that it is I am living with a true breed Hawaiian.

Thats a huge negative.

Turns out that Standard American English, Hawaiian American English (pidgin) and Hawaiian are three totally different languages. And its really challenging to convince Mr A that words he has grown up using are something sort of different than what he thinks they are. Its like telling someone from the south that aint aint a word. For instance, the word momona is commonly used to refer to overweight people, but turns out that in standard Hawaiian, momona primarily means sweet tasting. (?!) I would like to direct everyone to Kiki's article about her nickname translating into Thai. Serious communication breakdown.
This is an ongoing battle. I will prevail.

Oh Ye of Little Faith

2006-12-09T11:39:00.000+07:00

So it just occured to me, again, that I should probably update my blog more often. Geez, youd think now that I dont have a 9-5er (730-4er) I would have ample time for such an activity. Just goes to show how much time is wasted by going and working for someone else.

I saw Mel Gibson on a talk show last night and determined that he has finally become that guy from Lethal Weapon. Either that, or he was type cast in the first place.

I made a quilt last night - though I have yet to quilt it. Mainly because I cant figure out what that verb actually means.

I got back from O'ahu earlier this week. Had my first experience staying at a B&B in Kailua. There are oh so many reasons why I want to sing Auntie Barbara's praises. I highly recommend the B&B thing. The traffic isnt quite so monstrous on that side of the island as well.
We got some business done, made some plans for the wedding & the moving, etc. It was Mr A's birthday as well so there was lots of celebrating and Phillipino food eating activity. I ate ZipMin from Zippy's too many times. This picture was taken around the third time.

Since I mentioned the wedding... Im quickly finding the getting married process to be 100% facinating! Im going to have to start blogging on that more often. Perhaps Ill change the subtitle of Terms of Indifference to read "catholic wedding planning: not just for the pious"

I am eagerly awaiting my Engaged Encounter and my "personality inventory" aka marriage test. My mom mentioned she wanted to email me some of the questions. Why? So I can study? So I can cheat? Only time will tell.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-29T13:40:00.000+07:00

Happy Halloween!!!

I attended my first Todd & Michelle Halloween Extravaganza. Mr A and I went as the infamous Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker. Even though Mr A looked slick in his fedora, our costumes barely registered on the full out freak show scale of that particular gathering.
The winners, in my opinion, would have to be Nate & Lara - shown here. Theres not a whole lot you can say about a couple costume this awesome.

I need to go and scour the thrift store off my skin now.

The Challenging Life of the Self-Employed

2006-10-16T15:16:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I think that I just say "Im self employed" because it sounds nicer than "Im unemployed".
I probably do more work, technically speaking, than I used to when I had a 9-5er. But theres something about not punching a time card or asking my bosses permission to smoke that leads me to believe I really have no job.
The challenge is that we are told no job = no purpose. Instead of celebrating my liberation Im left feeling like a freeloader.
I was told, and agree wholeheartedly, that I should never work again unless I really really wanted to. I know that no one could possibly pay me what I think Im worth. I dont think that anyone is going to care about my wellbeing the way I do. Or let me take Wednesday off because I would rather finish my book. So why should I leave those sorts of decisions up to anyone besides myself?

Thank you Shaklee. Although sometimes I feel guilty for things I shouldnt (like hooking up my loved ones with high quality healthy stuff that they probably want anyway) in the end I know that a Tuesday afternoon hike with my dude is worth feeling a bit of vunerability.

Hook Line & Sink

2006-10-08T05:33:00.000+07:00

Yesterday I went to my grandmothers house to deliver a bottle of Basic H because she has fallen in love with my mom's super slick cleaning style. We started talking about her white counters and how metal pots and pans leave unsightly grey marks all over the place. (interestingly enough, Basic H will take those marks off her counter, but thats not relevant to my story) She informed me, casually, that she uses bleach to clear up said marks. What in the hell she is thinking putting bleach anywhere near her food, Ill never know.

But thats not the point. The conversation turned to her sink, which she also cleans with bleach (same metal streak mark problem there). I asked her why she doesnt just use a sponge and she said, in true Granny fashion, "Well, I dont know my dear, I guess Im under the crazy notion that white sinks should be white." And she asked me what color my sink was. I truly dont know because Ive never looked at the sink that closely but I insisted that it is not and has never been white.

Then I got to thinking last night...

So this afternoon I reached for the Scour Off and scrubby-deal from my much loved Get Clean kit. Its made from cherry pits and did a marvelous job on the oven last week. I peered into my sink and said to Mr A "maybe at some point in its life it was white, but now its scratched..." He told me to try anyway. I think he could sense the premature surrendering in my voice. So I took to scouring and...

TA-FREAKIN-DA!

My sink smells a whole lot better now and - Ill be damned - it is white! Amazing. This isnt the best picture but its half way through the job and gives some idea of what Im talking about.

9712 SE Ellis

2006-09-07T08:14:00.000+07:00

We painted the house.

Tragically, I didnt take any "before" shots so you just have to use your imagination. Think robin's egg blue for everything (including the cement) with white trim. Three houses in a row, formerly including ours, are that same color scheme. Its horrific.
The architecture is so weird. Its quite long and narrow and its the only house on its block with no cute front porch. We havent replaced the mailbox or the house numbers yet but Im thinking that is going to be a really fun crafty type project. Also, Im looking forward to tearing the yard out and laying something down that will actually grow.

I left my sanity in San Fransisco

2006-08-23T03:18:00.000+07:00

I just returned from a week in San Fransisco. The first half of the trip was spent entertaining/supervising/confusing high school exchange students from Asia. After that I had a wonderful couple days rubbing elbows with the peoples of the Shaklee Corporation. The verdict is in and...(drum roll please)... It was awesome.

I went to workshops, exhibitions, events, theme parks, etc. I even walked across the Golden Gate bridge, which is not as adventurous as it perhaps sounds. The closing event for Shaklee was out of control. I heard that it was the largest sit-down dinner ever (about 10,000 people) and there were performers from Cirque de Soliel, which I probably just spelled incorrectly. Earth, Wind, & Fire played to the unending excitment of Mr A and I successfully drank only water all night long. I wore a handmade Italian silk dress although I still refused to wear foundation and/or do anything with my hair. I was particularly proud of my shoe selection. They were onsale at JC Pennys for $12-ish.

I went shopping at H&M as well and got something that is made of black sweatshirt materials but is, in fact, a cape.

It possible (however unlikely) that I have been totally brainwashed. I havent been this excited about something since the menstrual cup! I cant get over how freaking awesome all this shit is! Shaklee came out with a new line of cleaning products called Get Clean! and there are dryer sheets. VEGETABLE BASED TOTALLY BIODEGRADABLE dryer sheets. Im so excited I can barely contain myself. Honestly.

Also, when Mr A and I returned to Portland, there was a check in our mailbox from Shaklee that was near the equivalent of a paycheck from the B&G Club. So now Im really focused on making this business work because I have been presented with an opportunity to never have to deal with dress codes and/or tardiness pay deductions ever again.

Stone Creek Saturday

2006-07-03T02:21:00.000+07:00

I went golfing at Stone Creek, which is near Clackamas Community College, and I had myself a great Saturday. The weather has been so amazing its almost unbelievable and I almost dont miss Thailand every second of every day. In fact, if everyday could be like yesterday, I might have to start not hating Portland, Oregon so much.
The golf was organized as follows: two teams, four bodies each, pitted against eachother in a fight for the right to enjoy beer bought at the expense of the loser.

Team 1: Lou, Ed, Garrin and Artie
Team 2: Greg, Rob, Mr A and I

Vegas style scoring. The highest and lowest score perhole were combined to make an overall score. For example: if Rob shoots par (4) and I shoot 4 over (8) then our score for that hole is a 48. If you birdie then the other team has to flip their score. So if I birdie on #6 and the other team has a score of 36 for that hole, their new score would be 63. Haha.

Anyways, so our team wasnt catching a lot of breaks on the putting greens. It was as if our balls just refused to go into the hole until we had hit them at least 3 times. They would come close enough to give us false hope, but in the end it was just another stroke for the scorecard. After awhile it was kind of funny and any putt made was celebrated with wild abandon.
Long story short, I shot a 107 (and in my defense I was using new-to-me oversized clubs so my game didnt come around until the back 9) and we didnt get a birdie until #18. Our team didnt win technically, but Lou had drank eight too many Coors and his game was so terrible he just stopped playing half way through. If he had counted his score we would have eaten them alive, metaphorically.

Lou bought the beer.

R.I.P. BooBoo & Buffy

2006-06-30T06:54:00.000+07:00

I picked up crocheting leis when we were in Hawaii earlier this month. They are really nice looking, feel good, and are relatively easy to make. The only problem is that the eyelash yarns are kind of hard to find. Even online. How is it possible that anything is hard to find online. I suppose its because Im picky about colors and/or that Im not sure how to substitute without potentionally destroying the overall greatness of the lei. Nothing worse than a flimsy, limp lei. No aloha for that.

On to business. Today I contributed to the Knox Fund, gave birthday $ to the sponsor child, got a hotel and registered for the Seaside volleyball tournament (team name: All Pau!), and gave some money to the ferret shelter in Washington. Why?

Well, besides my crazed love of ferrets, which most of us are well aware of, I got a very nice and consoling email today from the WA ferret lady informing me that my beloved animals kicked the can when I was over in Thailand. Buffy went first, not surprising since she had such major health complications prior to my departure. Shortly after Boo Boo tossed in the towel as well, striken with grief after losing his bestfriend/roommate/soulmate.
Oddly enough, Im thankful that, being a human being, I was able to pull myself out of the same situation with less lethal side effects.

...no disrespect for BooBoo the ferret.

Joan of Arc

2006-05-28T18:10:00.000+07:00

I am in the process of moving from Thailand to the United States.

Packing and I have never had a very strong relationship but its now becoming an actual problem. I can assure you that every major move I have made in the past ten years (uh...perhaps 12 or so if you count moving to & from college several times) has been executed within 48 hours of departure. I pretty much just wait until its time to go and then I throw what I can in a suitcase and throw everything else in the garbage.

This leaves me feeling rather wasteful but its a necessary evil of moving via airline where its not economical to take everything with you (no matter how badly I want to use the rest of that Listerine, its probably getting the boot in three days)
That being said, an interesting new problem has cropped up regarding my yarn stash. What do I do with all my yarn?

When I first arrived here I complained endlessly about the poor yarn selection in SE Asia. I worked with sport weight acrylic out of desperation and my mother, hearing my cries, sent me what she could. Low & behold, here I am eight months later with an exploding stash of yarn. And nice yarn, at that. I have like four skiens of Lambs Pride Bulky. I cant just throw that shit out!
But it takes up all this room in the suitcase. And I have an entire dryer box of yarn waiting for me in Portland. Oh how I have agonized over this! Its comparable to the anxiety and torment I went through when I was deciding what to do regarding my shoes upon leaving the US.
Ive already decided that the acrylics are getting the boot (except for two balls but they have a really unique color, I swear). Im keeping the eyelash yarns and the wools for sure. Havent made any final judgements regarding the cotton or the bucle yet.

So in the interest of keeping my sanity, I began a whole bunch of new projects. I figured if I use the yarn then its not such a waste when I have to trash the rest of the skien...right? Ive been knitting non-stop for almost three days now. I knit while walking down the street, its ridiculous. I have a half done cotton dish cloth in my lap at this very moment.

I finished several dish cloths (some of you may receive them in the mail - I aplogize for blatantly unloading on you) and this nifty little hat. Its from www.headhuggers.org which you might remember is the cancer hat charity I went absolutely nutty about a couple months ago. I think that because I made it out of this shiny blue/grey-ish yarn it sort of looks like chain mail. When I showed it to Corinne she said "oh, youve knit a helmet"

Indeed I have.

The Long & Short of It

2006-05-21T21:15:00.000+07:00

I didnt post this story. But then I realized that nothing strikes the heartstrings as skillfully as self deprecating humor.

Story goes, I walk into the office at school and there is a bulletin board highlighting the foreign language programs at Prabhassorn. PBS has had upwards of a dozen faraang teachers over the years so theres plenty of photos to choose from. I (being a huge jerk) walk up to the board and laugh pointing at a picture, "Wow! [explicit] Look at that ugly guy [explicit]!" Took me a second to figure it out... Punchline is coming...

The ugly guy was me at the LoyKratong festival. Super bummer!
Im never ever cutting my hair that short again.

Editor in Chief

2006-05-19T16:37:00.000+07:00

I have a couple more hours before I need to be at Don Muang. I agreed to proofread this friend of a friend's paper because it was presented to me in that innocent "oh can you just check the grammar if I email this to you?" sort of way.
Here's what one paragraph (of the 29 pages!) looks like:

"Given the observation sequence ... and a model ..., we will use Viterbi algorithm to choose a corresponding state sequence ... which is optimal in some meaningful sense.
Let... be the maximal probability of state sequences of the length k that end in state i and produce the k first observations for the given model."

all the elipses are really long algebraic expressions that wouldnt copy onto blogger because THEY ARE TOO DAMN CONFUSING!

Now I understand that you dont have to necessarily know what you are reading into order to check whether or not its grammatically correct in English. Im not proofing the content so it shouldnt matter to me what the paper is about. But good lord...all the numbers and long words and the fact that its 29 pages! I should be getting paid for this. I think Im going to have to delay my crossing into Laos so I can finish reading this tomorrow since I dont really have 4 hours of free time right now...Goo.

Ai Lao!!!

2006-05-17T19:51:00.000+07:00

Thai people like so say this when someone is doing something really tacky (ugly clothes, blasting the car stereo, etc) and it essentially means "you are acting like a person from Laos" Theres a similar expression where you are acting like a person from Cambodia (same reference to your tacky behavior) but Lao is a more popular insult.

Oh that note: Im going to Laos this weekend! Im taking off tomorrow night, I think (Air Asia online is confusing me) and flying to Udon Thani. Going into Vientienne for the weekend then back to Nong Khai to see the Sala Kaew sculpture park. Rumor on the street is thats its really trippy. The sole purpose for my visit is so that I dont have to feel like I completely wasted my time buying a reentry permit. Although now that Im not renewing my work visa, I dont need it anyway. So hopefully there is something amazing in Laos to justify this adventure.
Another reason I debated going was my gym membership, which expires on the 24th. I didnt want to waste all those precious days since every one counts. But then I thought about it and I can go to a gym in the US - but I dont know if I have the motivation to fly across the world again just to go to Laos. Might as well strike while the irons hot. Besides, not matter how much time I spend at the gym Im still going to feel like the mayor of Blubbyville, Chunkleton once I get to Hawaii.

Upon my return I will attend a concert, see the dentist, go to Pattaya for some quality time with teacher Christopher, and pack my stuff/throw everything away.

Curtain Call

2006-05-12T12:54:00.000+07:00

OK

Im moving back to the United States in June.
June 1st specifically, although Im flying to Hawaii for my vacation (I get a lot of vacation time huh?) before returning to the northwest on the 8th. Im sure this affects none of you, since I dont think any of my readership lives in the northwest and/or was planning to visit me in Thailand.
The gist is: dont send me anymore mail because Im afraid I wont be here to receive it.

And dont worry about the hamsters, they will live with my friend Art who promises to take exceptional care of them and watch them when they have sex. Gross, right?

I have a little over two weeks before I leave Chonburi for good. So if you want anything at all from Thailand please let me know. Its now or never, kids.

HAMTARO

2006-05-11T13:41:00.000+07:00

I got hamsters. They are cute. I love them. I should have gotten them a couple months ago.

Their names are Kwan and Liam. They are the Thai equivolent of Romeo and Juliet (except Kwan was poor...but now Im just splitting hairs). A tragic love story. Cute.

They purposely gave me a male & female. Do the Thai people ever wonder where the legions of stray dogs in this country come from?

BMW Rally 2006

2006-05-08T14:04:00.000+07:00

Youd think it was just another clever title but no...I truly went to the BMW Rally 2006 this weekend. Its just another thing that happened and I cant fully explain why.

Art sent me a text last week that said something to the effect of "car rally on saturday can you come? you should come i really want you to come". So Mr Egg & Ai-Mii were both going and I was like, "I guess if Im not sick there are worse things I could do with a Saturday".
Do you know what a car rally is? Because I dont. I was envisioning something like the boat show but for BMWs. A little trashy with like subwoofers and flashing headlights and things of that nature.
Art is a member of the BMW Society of Thailand and the proud owner of a Volvo (he gave the BMW to his sister but took it back for the rally), a fact I found to be endlessly amusing when he needed me to pick up the car from the lot where his sister was having it serviced. Driving it from the lot to Chonburi would have been funny if I hadnt been so terrified. I am by far the safest driver currently living in this country but those skills really only hurt me in the long run. Its like dealing with wild animals - if you show fear, they will eat you. Defensive driving was not working in my best interest and I was intimidated to say the least.

So Saturday at 5am dude picks me up at my house. Before we head out we have to eat some khao man gai and give offerings to the monks to ensure our safe journey. We arrived at the lot and waited around for about 3 hours before the rally "began". Im still not sure at this point how to tell the difference between a begun rally and a rally that has not yet commenced. We decorate the car with stickers and I check my email on his phone. I tried to talk to some of his friends and their girlfriends but no matter how many times I said "puut thai daai kha" they still looked at Art with eyes the size of saucers and told him that their English wasnt very good. It was frustrating for 8 in the morning.

Ok, so the rally starts. We get in the car and drive off the BMW Bangkok lot.
-Where are we going?
-The beach.
-Ok.

So we are going to a beach. I heard Petchaburi being thrown around and I have a rough idea of where that is. Soon we are heading out on the open road.
Once outside the city we pull up to where a woman in a red jacket is posted on the side of the road. I roll down my window. She hands me a map and says something in Thai, points a couple different directions, says goodluck and we drive away.
-What did she say, Art?
-I dont know.
-Super.

So I have this map with instructions and Art tells me that I have to "write down for the signs". I cant read the directions, or the map, and I have no idea what "signs" I am supposed to be looking for. After about five minutes of asking questions I just say fuck it & fall asleep. I wake up 30 minutes later and eat some food. We stop at about 2 other people in red jackets and I take the maps, nod my head, roll up the window and play with the radio or sleep.

At lunch time we pull up to the place where we eat lunch and I discover that we were supposed to be playing some sort of game. Art is telling everyone that he was too lazy to fill in the answers but Im pretty sure they all knew that his navigator is useless. So Im like, "now, we win." We get the new map and I make sure he explains the directions to me before we even get into the vehicle.
The signs I am supposed to look for are spray painted small blue letters and the instructions say exactly where they will be located (ex. on the pole @ 4.8km). When you find the letter you write it down and they tally the score based on how many you find. Even with me screaming about kilometers and drive slowly we still seemed to miss about four of the letters. It was somewhere between hilarious and totally mind numbing. I eventually fell asleep again.

Apparently, a rally is like a scavenger hunt. You get all these people who are part of this car club. They bring their BMWs and put stickers all over them and then drive down to Petchaburi and play this scavenger hunt/go to the wildlife reserve along the way. Theres also several Q&A sheets, which neither of us really knew any of the answers for because all the questions were either about BMWs or monkeys at the nature reserve. And the haole guy at the reserve spoke perfect Thai so I hated him and didnt want to walk with the group.

...Ok, in the interest of updating sometime this year Im posting this now.

The gist of the rest of the night was a big buffet dinner where they showed footage of the rally and played games, gave awards, etc. I was the sole female to participate in the beer drinking contest, which I think won me some friends. Although my team didnt win (Art's team won) I did get a free can of Singha. Kind of useless since I was all beer-ed out after the contest. I also did a straw drawing contest directly after that and it probably wasnt the best idea since I was being semi-beligerant to the hostess. I got all excited about pulling the shortest straw. Obviously, that means I lost but I didnt know it at the time. :(

We drove back the next day and went bowling in Bangkok with some people from the rally. It was really fun (cosmic bowling no less) but Im a fairly shitty bowler. I bought some fancy expensive eye cream at Boots to raise my spirits.

Alberto Ferret

2006-05-03T14:27:00.000+07:00

Did anyone know that this is the name of a designer? I almost want his clothes just because his last name is Ferret! I still dont have the "love me, love my ferret" hoodie I was intent on buying last year (once I stopped being broke).

So this blog entry is late because I have spent the last two or three days lying in a pool of sticky, smelly sweat running a 103 degree fever and curiously evaluating all the new red bumps/bites/marks on my body with more than the appropriate amount of panic. I spent all day Monday reading through malaria information (four times). I am truly my father's daughter.

But now I feel better so let me tell you about my new gym. Although Im a bit angry at the gym right now, since this sickness began the night after I enjoyed a relaxing sweat in the sauna (I know that proximity doesnt necessarily indicate correlation but the impressions still there nonetheless) I want to sing the praises of the gym from the highest mountain peak.

I never joined the gym before because pauperly princess me wasnt about to spend 2000 of her hard earned baht on a treadmill when theres miles and miles of road to run on for free. So for the first five months of being here in Thailand I spent every other day trying to convince myself that its fun to run, which its not. And thats its not too hot outside, which it is. And that the stray dogs dont all have rabies, which they probably do.
Im frustrated with being sick and I figured that working out couldnt really hurt me. The weather is now such that to leave the house at high noon is certain death; running is out of the question for someone of my weak constitution. So in the interest of actually working out again before I die of old age, I just sucked it up and decided to join a gym. I literally walked into the closest gym, easily detectable by the "Aquarium effect" windows showcasing the huffing & puffing middleaged Thai women on eliptical runners, and said "how much?" I forked over the cash, 1300 baht for one month of 6am-10pm including some ubiquious "membership fee", and happily became a participant in the human (5k) race.
I chose the eliptical runner that is in the corner with windows on both sides and have consistently used that machine whenever I go. Its not for want to be seen, quite the opposite, I feel less conspicuous with my back to the room. Silly huh? Im shy.
So two days of using this runner and chatting with a trainer named Bee, who is so excited to speak English he can barely form the sentence "how are you?", led me to discover that there are FOUR FLOORS to the gym! Three entire floors I have never seen. It was like Christmas in July (or May)!!! The second floor has free weights and ab balls and whatever else and the third floor has the aerobics room and womens locker room (with steam/sauna/shower) and the fourth floor is the mens locker room. Please keep in mind that this is a very narrow building and quite modest from the outside so this discovery was like opening those Russian dolls and just finding more & more stuff inside! The part that I find the most giggle inducing is that I joined this gym under the impression that it was just a room with some treadmills, eliptical runners, a couple weight machines (which I never use) and a magazine rack! You can really only imagine my delight and surprise.
So now Im really into aerobics. Im a girl of many talents and dancing is unfortunately NOT one of them, but I can hold my own after several years of jazzercise with my older sister. The important thing is that its INCLUDED in my membership. And rightfully so. Now I feel entitled to all these things. Of course I get to use the steam room - I am a member.

The real point of this story is that Im becoming utterly spoiled in Thailand. Between the frequent doctor visits for trivial problems like fevers and earaches, tooth cleanings and cavity fillings at the dentist, and gym memberships with steam & sauna, I cant imagine living without these things. How did I ever do it? How have my teeth not crawled out of my head in search of an owner who would take proper care of them?
This morning I thought about going to the dermatologist to see about my funny bug bites. THE DERMATOLOGIST!!! A doctor who exists for the sole purpose of checking your skin! Its almost so extravagent I can barely admit that shes already treating my acne (which by the way, at this point is starting to just impress and inspire me with how diligent it is - its like a cockroach). I also need to get my eyes checked.
And why shouldnt I? I deserve to give my body the best. But what will happen to me when I return to the land of no insurance and privatized health care? What will happen to me once I see that Bally's is going to take 50% of my income in exchange for using their treadmills? I suppose these are all questions that can wait until October. But the uncertainty of the future, the reality of the impermanence of my good fortune, it haunts me...

Shake it Ricky!!!

2006-04-24T15:30:00.000+07:00

Ricky Martin went off the deep end awhile ago. According to People magazine (the scholarly journal of postmodern sociology and geography) he was bopping around the globe after realizing that his last image was semi-exploitive. No kidding? So he went to all these different places to like "find himself" and eat his mother's food, get a bunch of tattoos, etc. Including a stop over in Thailand to help out with tsunami relief. What exactly that entailed, I will never know.** So I found a picture of our friend (and my mom's fantasy man) Ricky on msn.com today and it appears he also took a rest in Hawaii and chanelled Mr A for his CD release. Aloha Mr Martin!

**One of the best ways to help with the tsunami affected areas in Thailand now, whether you are running away from your former self or just want to do some good while not really doing much, is to travel here. Everything is open and running again, its perfectly safe AND its relatively cheap. There are tickets to Bangkok from the US for as low at $700. The places that were affected are some of the most beautiful beaches in SE Asia. So pick up your honey and take em on a vacation - youd be doing the victims good.

2006-04-19T20:48:00.000+07:00

Its not that I compare myself to other girls...

But Ive noticed that Ruth's blog is like a forum of feedback and comments and none of my readers (of course they exist! you are reading this now, arent you? jerk.) leave comments? Are my topics boring? Does this hair color make my face look fat?

Anyways, so heres whats going on right at this moment:

1) Currently, Im on Koh Tao, which is as island mainly used for SCUBA divers looking to get their PADI certification so they can hang the paper on their wall and tell all their friends how cool they are. Obviously I cant dive so we are here for snorkelling and general interest type stuff. Today we used a kayak. Stephs idea of "paddling easy" was not paddling at all and watching me do it. And the sea slugs felt like sea boners on the end of our paddles (but I swear we didnt kill the reef). There was lots of screaming and giggling.

2) Koh Tao means Turtle Island and I figured that out the old fashioned way - by hearing the dude on the boat say it and going "oh, that means turtle island!" Rock on low tones!

Speaking of language -->

3) Ive been increasingly distressed by my lack of progress when it comes to reading Thai. Ive got all the consonants and vowels down for the most part but when it comes to tone rules, I might as well be reading guess what (all Greek to me, right?). We were discussing the other day about how I could probably learn Chinese relatively quickly now that I have a background in both Japanese (kanji using language) and Thai (tonal language). Not that I want to learn Chinese...or pronounce tones correctly all the time...or that I remember most kanji... But at least I know how to write them and/or tell them apart. And thats a start.

4) I drove another motorbike today and now I want to buy one desperately. But Im afraid of how shabby my already shabby legs would become if I was just cruising to school everyday instead of huffing and puffing and pumping those gams.

5) Lonely Planet, despite being the best guide book available, is delusional when it comes to the pricing of guesthouses. Either that, or its ALWAYS high season in Thailand. Hostelworld.com did not lead me astray and they deduct the $2 service fee if you have one of those Youth Travel Cards (or Student Travel Cards, but Im not one of those anymore). Here I thought that I had just gotten it for the plane ticket.

The Task Master

2006-04-17T15:27:00.000+07:00

I finished another tea towel. This one is for my uncle and his English wife so I assume she will know what these things are for. Their kind generosity made my latest obsession possible.

Everything has been so chaotic since school got out for the summer break. Ive been entertaining guests, participating in local festivities, and trying to regain my crippled heath. Since Mr A has left, Stephanie has appeared and I have been in perpetual motion. I received her in Bangkok and we began our journey to the north - destination Chiang Mai, which is rumored to have the super most fun Songkran celebration in Thailand. We went through Lopburi (a town completely besieged by monkeys), Phitsanulok (to see the Chinnarat Buddha pictured here) and ended up in Chiang Mai where the moat water was already flying. We ended up at a party with some local lawyers and cops. Its a long story but I lost my D&G sunglasses to a cop who was walking around with a bucket on his head. Gonna go ahead and assume he was drunk.

Ive been thinking lately about all the stuff I have to do with my life and how theres just not enough time, at least not without efficient planning and/or forward thinking, to do all of it. Or most of it. I remember driving around in the rental car in Okinawa and Italian Guy & My Chris were talking about all these video games that they play and I was thinking "how in the world did you two have time to become bilingual, get stellar grades, travel around the world, read a bunch of literature, AND play video games to the point where you are almost frighteningly nerdy?" Italian Guy says that its all about time management. As long as you have good time management skills you can get all sorts of stuff done with the 16 or so hours that you are awake in a day.
I have 5 more months in Thailand. I have 5 bazillion things to do before those 5 months are up. Some of them are exclusively Thailand things such as studying Thai language and researching Thai art, and some arent so much (embroidery bazzar). I have the GRE to think about and an upcoming trip to Hawaii and I need to learn how to cook and how to get a job that pays me more than 300 bucks a month....
Im kind of over the stressing out thing. Any tips on efficiently organzing one's day?

The Tiger Zoo

2006-03-29T19:13:00.000+07:00

If Mr A & I ever had a better idea than going to the SriRacha Tiger Zoo, I dont remember it.

The Tiger Zoo was extrordinarily bizarre. The first ten minutes pretty much summed up the entire head scratching experience. We walked in and first went to the "Happy Family" exhibit. This is where they show how pigs and tigers can live together and ... I dunno. Not feed on the other? So there is a nursery where a tigress and her five little "cubs" (piglets dressed up in ridiculous but precious tiger coats) are in a room together. Next door is a gigantic sow and three piglets and two tiger cubs who are all suckling off the sow. It was just all wrong. Weird.

Anyways, so we move on to the next room, the "Tiger Tunnel", which is one of those windows looking into the habitat exhibts. There are probably seven or so adult/large adolecent tigers living in this habitat. AND PEOPLE! There are three African (?) people just standing in the exhibt holding sticks and wearing tiger print jungle get-ups. Huh?! A people zoo? I stood there blinking for a solid two minutes just trying to figure out what the reason was for these people in the tiger pen. I waved at them, rather embarassed. Were the sticks for protection from the tigers or just part of the theme? Never did figure it out and I left somewhere between offended and dumbfounded.

Next exhibit was more of the same but this time it was a tiger, a pig and a golden retriever. Apparently dogs are also part of this perfectly symbiotic relationship. Word to the wise: pigs cant walk very well on rocks and dogs look gross if their fur gets wet. Wet rocks = not such a great habitat for showing off these animals.

At any rate, this zoo, with its Scorpian Queen, Elephant Show, Amazing Circus, and feed the 10 billion crocodiles with a wooden fishing pole while standing on the jankiest bridge ever constructed, made for quite the Tuesday.
PETA members be damned! I think it was well worth the 300 baht.

Viva La Tea Towel!

In Other News

2006-03-21T12:54:00.000+07:00

I have completed another hat. This one was requested by a friend but without any specifications. It fits my head but I have a relatively large head so I think maybe it will be too big for him. (That sentence sounded like I dont speak English well.) I also made a duplicate stitch pattern for it to cover the messy color jog job I did. Not only did that not work, it made the "lightbulb" look more like a "scary face". Ill try to get a picture of the hat up soon.

Im totally over my mothers blanket. I began this stupid thing the day after New Years and quite frankly Im getting sick of looking at it. I have one more seed stitch square, which I began yesterday and then its assembly only. I have to finish this thing before Mr A goes home. This is now my goal and until its done - everything else loses priority.

I got my Stitch It Kit in the mail. HOLY MOSES! Its fucking AWESOME! I whipped out a tea towel for Mr A (somehow I convinced myself that he really needs a tea towel) with palm trees and pineapples and other Hawaiian-esque decorations. Embroidery is AWESOME! Next I want to make a pillow case. Anyone want a pillow case with customized needlework work on it?
Ill never lose heart for knitting but when it comes to hobbies for broke college graduates - stitching is totally taking the cake.

IN OTHER NEWS:
Went to Pattaya this weekend and had a nice mix of wholesome and not-so-much-wholesome fun. Sunday was fun at the Ripley's museum in the Royal Plaza Mall. The Infinity Maze was this thing where you get gloves and socks and walk through a maze made of mirrors and other perception distorting apparatuses. It wasnt so much a maze with turning corners and dead ends and things like that, it was more like find the door out of this crazy room. It was short but interesting and the Haunted House made me want to cry several times. Im not so great with haunted house type things since I scare easily. The 4-D movie was a log ride in the amazon. It was hilarious to be wearing those nerdy 3D glasses at our age but the real fun was the 6 asian girls behind us who were SCREAMING in terror!

Saturday night was not really what I would consider family fun time, but was interesting all the same. After a very suptuous meal at Niddy's Nook (Teacher Christopher & his husbands dining establishment) we took off to find something to do. I wanted to see the show at Throb, which I am told features an obese drag queen performing backflips and sexy backup dancers. After a substantial amount of pleading it became obvious that my company was not going to be comfortable hanging out in Boyz Town all night. So we went to Walking Street.

Ive heard lots of rumors about Walking Street but have never been there myself. We briefly went into a clubby bar called Lucifers Dungeon or something along the same line of stupidity but when you arent drinking or dancing, clubs arent all that much fun. I really had my heart set on seeing a show - ANY show - so finally we agreed to see the only kind of show they offer on Walking Street.
Now, Ive been sort of debating whether or not to write about this. I wanted to go and I thought it was fun, but Im sure it doesnt bring a sparkle to my parents eye to know that their precious daughter was at a "pussy show". Last night Mr A was reading a book about sex traffiking in Asia by a professor at Yale or some other genero-ivy league and not only had dude been to a pussy show, he had been to the same place we went to! I guess I can rationalize my bad behavior by explaining that I was merely partaking in a sort of sexual anthropology.

On with the show...

There are guys who walk up and down the street advertising these shows with "menus" that say what the show entails. I dont like the idea of talking them mostly because Im afraid that Ill be sold into white slavery or something else ridiculous. Since I had company with me the risk was minimal. I read the menu, checked it over with my buddy and the guy led us to a doorway that was up a flight up stairs. We paid 300B, which included a drink!, and the door opened.
Inside looked a lot like Boyz Boyz Boyz. There were a dozen or so girls with tacky outfits (aqua blue and white fringe), tall boots, and a button with a number. The walked between two stages with bored looks on their faces, dancing a little or checking their reflections in the mirror. Mr A fell asleep. I watched some drunk Germans sitting next to us and started to wonder if this was going to be a total rip off.

Then the same Star Wars type music came on and the lights dimmed and the show was about to start. I cant describe the whole show (mostly because Im afraid I will get thrown off blogger) but I can tell you that things happened in that bar that left me shocked and amazed! Like I sat there for a full minute with my mouth open and my eyes blinking in wonderment! At first it was a little bit lame - drawing a picture with a pen in the vagina. To me, that doesnt require much skill. Then it was like - woman was pulling RAZOR BLADES out of her vagina or blowing darts from her vagina and popping balloons that guests were holding up as targets. It was unbelievable! And this went on for a full 45 minutes! I truly cant imagine how these women acquired these skills. But, at any rate, I was really impressed.

After the show we left and I was feeling sick from my ear infection so the night was cut short. But really, how do you top that? If we had gone anywhere else, would I have been able to think about anything but that woman smoking cigarettes with her genitals? Probably not.

The best part of the night was the part when I realized that the gay clubs offered a show that was 1000 times more wholesome entertainment (lights, songs, glitter, dancing) than the girly bars (razors, cigarettes, pulling things out of orifices). I just wish there was a way to work that into the HRC canvassing rap when lameo asshole tells you that "the queers corrupt our society".

2006-03-15T15:18:00.000+07:00

Mr A & I have returned safely from a rather pleasant week in Cambodia. 4 nights in Siam Reap (2 days of exploring Angkor due to some oversleeping issues I was having) and 2 nights in Phnom Penh. 6 nights and 7 days. Some of the highlights are as follows:

1) riding a bicycle around the Angkor temples aka the hottest place on earth. Bicycles? Indeed. It was a sweat parade/water drinking extravaganza.

2) the Dead Fish bathroom. Theres a sign outside that says to watch your children or something else casual. Until you notice that theres a freaking crocodile pit next to the bathroom! No joke, there at least a dozen chilling out in this concrete hole that was protected by a picket fence made of kindling. Safe? Not really. But you could feed them for 50 cents, which was the highlight of Mr A's trip.

3) the bus ride back from Siam Reap was like a game of Twister (all rights reserved, of course) trying to find the most comfortable position to sleep on using only my backpack and the person next to me. Luckily, I knew the person. There was air conditioning so that was a bonus.

4) We bought water on our way into the Grand Palace from an adorable 6 year old girl who was working hard on the street. In fact, we bought 2. Two hours later we are at the water front talking to some other street kids and Mr A buys a couple drinks from them ... OUT OF NOWHERE comes 6 year old girl and shes screaming at these other kids and apparently really pissed at us since we didnt buy water from her. So we are like chuckling and "aww cute"-ing when this girl walks over to Mr A and slaps him on the leg. Not even a playful slap, a 6 year olds equivalent of kicking your ass kind of slap. DAMN! She was angry. But inflicting physical violence upon the walking ATMs is not the way to earn your living and she should learn that if she hasnt already.

5) We entered a casino looking like vagrants. Our wallets left feeling the same way. Oh well, at least the anxiety of gambling took away from the unrelenting pain in my ear.

OK. Thats all I have the patience to type right now.

Quick Note from Kampuchea

2006-03-14T10:54:00.000+07:00

I know, I know, they go by Cambodia now and the US Dept. of State never really adopted the whole DK thing anyway...but Thailand still calls this place Kampuchea and I feel like sounding more wordly.

Its really really hot here. Thats about all I can think of at the moment. We rode bikes around the temples in Angkor and at one point the sentence "Wow! Your shorts are so wet!" came from the bicycle behind me. As if I had jumped out of a pool or something. Right?
So Mr A and I have been attempting to make our way through Cambodia with twenty photocopied pages of the Lonely Planet and a budget that has been the source of my unending anxiety (because I was only thinking about one person when I designated how much to bring along). We have seen all sorts of sights and I have all sorts of pictures that will have to be posted at a later date.
Cambodia's Royal Palace is a schizoid mix of French architecture and something that looks strikingly similar to Thai architecture (rumor is that it all originiated here). I thought it was creepy rather than plesant but I suppose thats because Ive never been to France. The pastel, colonial lamp posts lining the avenues next to the river, juxtaposed with rickshaws and lots of poor people made Phnom Penh feel much more like a movie than any other place Ive been to. Sort of a highly orientalized version of a real city in the Orient.
Today we are going to a killing field and other such things of the emotionally heavy nature.

Safe Travels.

I HATE YOU CHRISTOPHER PARSONS

2006-02-28T12:19:00.000+07:00

We are working in the library. Its been two weeks now. We are all going a little bit nuts. If you add in grading the final "listening assessment" then we have totally lost our minds.
Im wearing my brand new Dior (yeah right) sunglasses. Chris said to me, "I like your sunglasses...

THEY MATCH YOUR ACNE!"

Teacher Christopher can go kick rocks. And he can take his creepy lap top, which whispers the time on a half hourly basis, with him.
Although he had a point, it did give me something to write about in my blog.

Mo Turns Teen

2006-02-26T14:48:00.000+07:00

I dont remember 13 years old being very fun.
My little sister turned 13 and has now acquired an I-POD (so it appears I am officially the last one on earth who cares about having one of these...its like the cellphone thing all over again)
I went to her MySpace site, which I have tagged over in the column to your right. At first, her butchering of the English language really put me off. Until I began realizing that all of her friends were writing using the same style. Its like this amazing subset of English where "azn" truly doesnt mean "asian" to them. My linguistics professor always told me that the signifier is assigned arbitrarily. Otherwise, why would this small, furry, domestic animal be "cat" to one person and "gato" or "neko" or "mao" to another? This group of tweenagers in Seattle have a lexicon that works for them and is still recognizable enough to be considered a derivative of English. Fascinating.
The one thing I cant forgive is the misuse of the word "your" right off that bat. I doubt she had her tongue very far into her cheek when she wrote that one.
Today, I saw a small glimpse of what Mo will be when she is older. She is by far the most confusing of the 3 of us sisters, although the least complex. Very interesting.

Happy birthday "Sista".

Spring Break Plans

2006-02-24T13:27:00.000+07:00

I am getting increasingly excited about my upcoming trip to Cambodia. In less than two weeks I will touch down in Phoem Phen. I really have no idea what to even expect.
The itinerary, as of right now, is to fly into the capital. In the capital we will explore the history of the Khmer Rouge including visiting the Silver Pagoda (apparently there is a life size image of Buddha made of solid gold and encrusted with diamonds), Tuol Sleng Prison, and the National Museum. From there its up to Siam Reap and Angkor Wat. The 3-day pass for Angkor is $40. It took me 2 days of continuous exploring to see half the historical park at Sukhothai so Im gonna go ahead and say that 3 days is just barely adequete for a kingdom the size of Angkor.
I have no clue how we are going to get from Phoem Phen to Siam Reap. There is a boat, an airplane, or a bus. So plenty of options exist at least. Im also not sure where we are going to stay or in what order we are going to tackle these cities. The plan is to let MrA go through the guide book (photocopied pages from LP: Southeast Asia on a Shoestring) and make some decisions from there.

Prabhasson Football

2006-02-19T12:10:00.000+07:00

I went to a Prabhassorn soccer game Saturday afternoon. They have a reputation for being one of the best teams in Chonburi (with the expection of a 12-0 ass kicking they received two weeks ago in Bangkok) and since most of the players have said the total of 3 words to me all semester, I was curious to see if life had truly bestowed them with any other talents.

Soccer is a little bit different here. Its played on a short field with smaller goals. Not quite as small as LaX goals, but comparable. The field, as you can see, is dry and dusty. This lead to several eyewashings for poor Pong, our goalie. It makes sense that the kids wouldnt be playing on a full length field, considering how hot it gets in the afternoon. I think every kid would suffer from heat stroke if they were expected to run the length of a field in the blazing afternoon sun. The short field makes it so that the goalies can throw the ball to eachother, but it also means that the kids have impeccible ball control. They have a finesse with their ball handling that my sister's soccer team (a team of the same age) lacks. Their sense of direction and location is quite refined considering how young they are. Its a different style of soccer and I found it much more exciting to watch than just seeing people kick the ball as hard as they can until someone gets a breakaway.

Of course, our team won. Turns out that my students are amazing. I like to think that I had something to do with that...
After the game is all over they go and wai the opposing teams coach. This is the team from Chonburi, the losers if you will, showing some respect to Aajaan.

I can safely say that no kid was excited to see me at the game, at least not outwardly. Aajaan and I spent the time from 830 until 910 shuttling around Chonburi, picking up kids that were late for one reason or another. They would get into the backseat of the car and be listing off excuses or apologies. I would turn around and say "GOOD MORNING STUDENT!" They would start with disbelief. Then their eyes grew wide in fear and they were immediately silent. Aajaan would be like "Say good morning to the English teacher!" wait a moment and then shrug before driving again. Im sure every one of them was cursing me for bringing the pressure of spoken English to an otherwise blissful Saturday morning.

Live & Let Die

2006-02-11T12:53:00.000+07:00

Oh my god I have bronchitis! How hienous is that? Yesterday I got home from school and I couldnt even take a nap I was so feverish and uncomfortable. I finally, after two weeks of just trying to wait it out, went to the doctor. Of course he examined me - listened to my heart and my complaints, etc.

My bill came back over 1,600 baht! What the 'ef? The nurses are telling me that its so cheap compared to America. But that only works when Im an American living in America making an American salary. Sorry, but when Im an American living Thailand and making a Thai salary 1,600 baht to treat a cold is much too expensive.

What could possibly have caused such a monetary riot? The medication of course! I grow increasingly angry the more I think about the pharmasutical industry. It requires a sort of blind faith in the medical practitioner; he knows what is best for me. So he prescribes me the only thing that could possibly restore my health. But whats to say that hes not just giving me some lame placebos?
So this doctor had written a prescription without running it by me (that part I understand, since I dont speak Thai) and dude gave me all the medications under the sun. I had a bag of little yellow pills for a runny nose, purple pills for my sinuses, foil packets for my cough, something else possibly a multivitamin, and finally (the real treasure) the antibiotics. I'm a regular ole run-of-the-mill amoxocillin kind of gal. But of course, since the medical industry is like everything else and centers around money rather than practical health care, he prescribed me the most expensive antibiotics possible! Hate!
After much drama I finally get the bill down to a more reasonable 650 baht. I leave satisfied and eagerly await this illness to subside. Being sick is lame. I deeply question the ethics in the pharmacy.

On a less interesting note I finished this scarf for Veronica. I wanted to post the picture since Im really proud of it. I think the pompons are the most wonderfully charmings accoutrament I have ever given an accessory. But I dont feel like writing about it right now since all I really want to do is go home and go back to bed.
Oh yes, and Monday is a holiday but I have no idea what Im going to.

Fitting Room

2006-02-07T15:38:00.000+07:00

I was in the library today during one of my free periods. I was browsing through magazines. There was a 5th grade class watching a video for Thai dance class. Teacher Oi was reading magazines as well. I sat down at a table with her.
Somehow the conversation turned to bras or boob size or something of that nature. She says that I have small breasts and Im like "guess again, my breasts are way bigger than yours" (this woman is 98lbs at most). She says that I only ever wear sports bras, which is half true since I didnt bring any fancy bras to Thailand. I said that I would like to buy a nice bra but I dont know my bra size (metiric system - what a pain!) She looks at me and thinks.
Then reaches out and grabs one of my breasts. "I think maybe B."
Then she cups her own cleavage and says "yes...maybe B. (turns around) what size Matli?"
Matli: "something in thai"
She turns back to me and Im like there is no way that Im the same bra size as you! So I reach out and grab her boobs and then feel my own and they are clearly different. I think Im closer to a C.
Anyways, Matli and a couple other teacher join in this conversation and the insanity continues for probably 5 minutes. Here we are in the school library grabbing eachother and talking about bra sizes. It was rather hilarious.
But sadly, I am no closer to knowing my bra size.

Hatstravaganza!

2006-02-01T14:11:00.000+07:00

I finished some hats - not all of which I posted here. But there are pictures in my photo album so no one feels left out.

The Colorblock hat is a pattern from Woman's Day magazine, which my mother clipped and sent to me last year. I promptly filed it under "Woman's Day clippings" and never looked at it again. I unearthed it because I was running out of ideas. Its knit across rather than top to bottom. The resulting tube is grafted together at the end (excuse me WDM, but a 24" tail really didnt cover all my post-tube-grafting needs) and one end is gathered to transform the tube into a hat. Amazing. A fun hem detail* and tassle surprise are added after the fact. You can clearly see that this hat is tremendously fun to wear.

*pick up 2 stitches in from hem, SC (super long style), Ch 3, repeat. Rock on, right?

The other hat is the "fuck you hat" hat. So named because that is what I was screaming throughout the entire process of crocheting the damned thing. The purpose of this hat was to use up some scrap yarn. So i used a pattern my host mom in Japan had given to me. Rather than take the time to read the pattern I just followed the chart. The result was THREE separate occasions of ripping the hat out and starting over. I had originally wanted to add a scalloped edge but after all that nonsense, when the time came for row 21 - I just SC around and let it be fine.

So now Im trying to work from a Thai (scarf) pattern, which is even sillier than working from a Japanese pattern since I only know about 4 of the words in the entire thing. Im pretty much just guessing on everything and following the chart. I dont know if I even like the result yet. I keep thinking it should be wider but Im really apprehensive about ripping out and starting over (what if its worse? then I did all that ripping for nothing!). Only time will tell.

PS Venus Softfur yarn. No so much soft.

Ko Samet & The Other Weekend

2006-01-30T11:53:00.000+07:00

So this weekend I spent Friday night hanging out on the pier in Angsila and Saturday night on Ko Samet drinking Red Bull & vodka out of a plastic beach pail at a dance club. Sunday I spent 6 or 7 hours moving about 40 feet between my reading spot, swimming in the Gulf, and eating. My biggest problem all weekend was keeping sand out of my bikini bottoms. Awesome.

But just for good measure Ill share with you my weekend from two weeks ago. This is for those of you who think that Im always doing something interesting. Its simply not true.

The weekend began with me doing absolutely nothing and ended much the same way. Most of it was spent in my room.

I ate super spicy kill-the-baby style green curry for lunch. Consequently I spent the rest of the afternoon in traction. This is me *suffering* and my puckered burnt lips. GRACIOUS!

Then I had nothing to do so I knit a hat and ate Sugus. Oh look, Im trying on the hat and its not really fitting...
Dont I look hot & sweaty? Its about a million degrees outside and I dont want to use the air conditioning because it doesnt make my hands stop sweating, it just makes the rest of me cold.

Then I read a book about Thai art. And fell asleep about 14 times while doing that.
Then I thought about Mr A for a little bit. Unfortunately, I didnt come up with any spectacular ideas or revelations. I came to terms with the neon yellow picture frame and decided to take another trip to the Oregon coast when I get back.
I subsequently wrote six or seven letters (but they werent all for him).
The night grew dark and since I was sitting at my desk anyway, it was time to study some Thai. That week was body parts.
FYI: The word for nipple is "boob head".

I think the fact that I was so bored I began taking pictures of everything I was doing should speak for itself. Sunday was a little easier because I finished the hat and that was exciting.

Working Girl

2006-01-19T12:39:00.000+07:00

I like my job.

2006-01-17T10:11:00.000+07:00

Theres a dog on our street who likes to stand in a bucket. Ive been trying to get a picture of him for the last couple days. Our paths will cross eventually and then this blog will really get exciting.

Ive been cyber stalking people from high school. The wildest part is that everyone else seems to have stayed in touch, as if that were the logical course of events. Tori's wedding album was my high school lunch table sans myself. I really wanted to drop a note to several of these people but that would have required signing up for MySpace.
I predict that eventually, Ruth will get around to bothering me about joining that as well (to add to the long list of online things Im already a part of because of her relentless nagging; Friendster, blogger, facebook, etc.) but for now, Ill just wait for the reunion.

I thought about writing a book last night. Usually when I daydream about these sorts of things, I see myself in the process of completing it rather than enjoying the final outcome. I am toiling over a laptop with an ashtray erupting in cigarette butts on one side and a cup of cold coffee on the other (sort of looks like finals week in Japan, actually) rather than squinting at flashbulbs during a book signing.
The process of writing a novella (as opposed to research) appeals to me because of the motions one goes through in order to write something from nothing. The catharsis of getting all those ideas out of my head and onto paper, the insanity of not sleeping and being self concious about people who arent me but are my creations, its all very mysterious. I like constructing reality around me and at least when one is writing a story they can get away with exaggerations and lies, whereas in actual life thats just fancy justification for being a jerk.
The end result is always so disappointing though and I feel as though there is enough terrible writing in the world. I should not contribute to the problem. I feel the same way about all art really. Is that post modernity or just complaining?

and now for something you're sure to enjoy

2006-01-14T16:14:00.000+07:00

After Kids Day celebration on Friday Emporn stops us to ask what we will do on Monday. "We're going to work." Why would you go to work Monday, stupid foriegn teachers, its Teacher Day! Oh another crazy national holiday where Im not expected to go to my job. Fun times for everyone!
In that case, I think Ill sleep and knit a hat.

Heres the deal. www.headhuggers.org Lets all make hats!

Everyone tries to make the charity blanket because it seems like the most obvious choice. Guess what, lameass? Blankets, like bad and/or boring relationships; take time, committment, and a good chunk of your sanity. Unless said blanket is for a premature baby. But usually its not.

***I ran across a charity that was for people who had lost a child to a miscarriage or a still birth and the charitable part of it was making baby clothes...why? Isnt the point to elliviate some of their suffering?***

Back to the point - making hats is a really great charity project. Making a hat takes about zero talent. In fact, a hat was the first thing I ever crocheted during that cold, lonely month of just me & host mom in Shimane, Japan.
It was sent with great joy to Ronica and Im sure she filed it somewhere between the turtlenecks and the socks with holes.
Hats, like myself, are very fast pieces of work. Even a super complicated hat should only take about a week. Instant gratification. Isnt that what charity is all about?

And the greatest thing is that even if I screw up the size, which I do without fail (usually twice), I dont have to rip it out. Case in point - the green bucket hat that only fits my shower bucket. Somewhere, some kid, with the smallest head ever, is wanting this hat real bad. Only its not up to me to find him. I just have to make the hat.

My parents called this morning and I was pleased, for now. My dad read poetry to me, isnt that sweet? It was actually composed by myself (circa 15 years ago) and had resurfaced during the annual flooding of the basement. Apparently Seattle is currently bending under the pressure of the northwest monsoon season.

Here's an except from one composition about being a pious daughter under my parent's loving care & ever watchful eyes:

"...and there is no way to escape the terror/ of living with them forever and ever..."

"I Bring My A-Game to the Puzzle Table"

2006-01-10T18:13:00.000+07:00

Ask and you shall receive.

"Your dad says that it was originally a British song that they used to make fun of the Continental soldiers during the Revolutionary War. Then the Continental Soldiers starting singing it because it actually reflected their situation during the war. When the British had to surrender at Yorktown, the Continental army played Yankee Doodle while they were surrending, that is when it became a patriotric song .. the underdog beat the professionals"

Thanks Mom

So heres the knitting situation right now. Urban Rustics are completed. Heres Corinne posing with the happy campers now. Yay! Good times, good times.

Right now Im lost in a seemingly endless abyss of garter & seed stitch (the very definition of cumbersome). Although the speedy Yankee Doodle response from my mother is doing wonders for my motivation. Its always nice to feel the love.

Yankee Doodle

2006-01-09T11:16:00.000+07:00

Sunday morning I woke up and laid in bed for about 25 minutes singing Yankee Doodle to myself. What is that song about?
I really hope that any member of my American history fanatical family reads this post and responds to it with some enlightening information.
From what I gather its about meterosexuals in the Union. I imagine it was written by someone in the South because it seems really sarcastic. Why is this song associated with patriotic feelings? Why did I learn this song in fourth grade? Is it one of those "reclaiming the identity", tongue in cheek, we-won-the-war-so-ha! type deals? When was this song even written?
Today its Nancy Sinatra.

On the knitting front, Ive finally finished those gloves for my older sister. They will go out in the mail shortly and I will try posting a picture of them soon.
I broke down and began arranging a package to send to my little sister as well. I got an Xmas stocking from my sisters and my mother on Saturday and it was fun to open so I feel like she deserves to be rewarded now.

This is English

2006-01-05T13:28:00.000+07:00

So Corinne assigned a project that included an oral presenation where everyone was expected to say at least one sentence. She ran the project past the Thai teacher and asked if the M3 kids (14-15 yrs old) could, in fact, understand this. Yes, they certainly can. The project was about weather in a country. Any country. Saying anything about the weather.

The M3 kids have been working on the Weather unit about half as long as my P6 kids have been working on the My Family unit. Which means they've been studying meteorological English for an eternity. Clearly it wouldnt be so difficult to come up with any five sentences about the weather in any country in the world. "Thailand is hot" comes to mind today...

The culmination of this disaster is when the kids doing Thailand get up in front of the class and start their presentation.

STUDENT #1: "Good afternoon, today we will be talking about the weather in Thailand"
(OK this is going to be better than Switzerland, which was 75% in German)

STUDENT #2: "Thailand has three seasons; hot, rainy, and cool"
(so far so good)

STUDENT #3: "Although the Thai people would joke that it is; hot, hotter, and unbearable."
(hmm...being funny, that is suspicious)

STUDENT #4: "If you are viewing these pages from the America's, all times are local. For more information visit www.... or click here."

sawatdiibpiimai

2006-01-03T15:14:00.000+07:00

Oh man, I just got back from up north at 630am this morning. I feel like a zombie.
Emporn wasnt lying - its pretty damn cold up there in the mornings. Its amazing to me when I think about how much time I spent in the back of a van this weekend. We played endless MadLibs and slept for hours (although Im still tired). Its also weird to think that less than 24 hours ago I was staring over into Burma. Which is consequently going to be the title of my new CD.

We went to Doi Tung up by Chiang Rai and saw the most awesome garden. Awesome as in - the garden inspired awe from within my soul. I cant keep plants alive for some reason. Im guessing that the nations top scientists work there, and why wouldnt they? Does anything make sense in Thailand? We ate a caramel flavored like Durian.

Then we saw this place. Its a temple designed by one of Thailands top artists (seen in this picture lounging on a bench in front of his masterpiece). Its BEAUTIFUL! It was like an ice castle. The mural on the inside of the wat was breathtaking. He used what I would assume to be a type of colored pencil so that the shading/blending looked almost oily but not as blocky as painting. Oh my god, that didnt make any sense... Ive been out of school too long.
Point being, dude's design was unreal and I bought two prints of his work for my house in the states. Sick!

I also watched the Miss World pagent at the temple. I was transfixed on the television even though it was all dubbed over in Thai. It was some sort of coma from travelling in that van or maybe the altitude - I dont know. Corinne said in a very flat voice as we stared at the contestants with our eyes glazing over - "...being a beauty queen would be so weird."

Why You? Wai Kruu!!!

2005-12-29T12:07:00.000+07:00

wai = a thai greeting and sign of respect shown by placing the hands together in a prayer like gesture and bowing the head or the knees
kruu = teacher

This morning was the Wai Kruu ceremony at Prabhassorn. It was beautiful and thankfully took up the time of all my morning classes. We are going on two weeks without teaching Kindergarten. Rock on.

So the ceremony was really special. The morning started out with all the children lining up in the courtyard at the front of the school to give alms to the monks. So the monks went around with baskets and we wai-ed them and put food in their silver buckets. I think they left with like 4 truck loads of sustinence and the children left with good karma so everyone was a winner.

Wai Kruu is a teacher appreciation thing. The teachers all sat in the front of the auditorium in a semi circle of chairs. There was a traditional Thai style music band of students playing and the marching band was there although I still havent figured out why. The children gave some speeches and did some praying and then they came up and gave their favorite teachers flowers and/or presents.

It was so precious. They would bow on their knees in front of us (which seemed uncomfortable) and wai. Sometimes they smooshed their little heads into our laps or sniffed us or whatever. The more agressive/appreciative children would hug and some of the teachers were crying. And it was unbelievably sweet but I really didnt know what to say. "Thank you"??? I ended up saying "good student" and touching them on the head or the shoulder since it appeared to be what other teachers were doing.

I kept a close eye on who was giving me flowers and who conveniently forgot to come up and wai me! All in all, I made out pretty good with a half dozen roses, 3 MaLais and a calendar. It was kind of like a popularity contest. Reminded me of when we bought Santa-grams or whatever in high school and sometimes you debated whether or not to buy one and send it to yourself just so people would see you getting it during class and youd look cool. Or maybe that was just me.

Le Divorce

2005-12-28T08:57:00.000+07:00

How in the world did Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announce plans to divorce and my email inbox wasnt promptly flooded with messages from friends and loved ones? I had to find out from MSN.com and even then it was questionable until I googled. I have no regular access to this type of information. The only thing I have is an issue of People from October 2005. Its not as if I want to know about everything that happens in the glossies. I want to know about the failures of people who make more money than I do (which at this point is just about everyone) and what they were wearing when it happened.
As far as The Newlyweds goes: I still dont understand why they are famous and why people like her so much. Was a living in a parallel universe when she was the fat one that couldnt dance? I really feel like people were giving me this excuse of their realtionship being cute and watchable (whats your excuse now jerk?) when all this time it was just a matter of being confused by her commercial appeal and Nick Lacheys...I dont know. I think he was supposed to be good looking or something. What would be awesome is if he got super popular now and she became the most hated woman in the country (she & Tom Cruise could have sob parties since hes a fucking nut bag too). Would serve her right for flying the Jesus flag and then divorcing her less popular husband within the first 5 years of the relationship. Its so Hollywood - its so high school - I cant believe anyone would find it anything but revolting.
Sigh...love is dead in America. But the dollar marches on.

Works in Progress

2005-12-24T12:52:00.000+07:00

One glove is now completed. I used a pattern found in the current issue of Knitty (see links). Its worked in garter stitch with some grafting (barf) at the end.

The worst part about this glove is the black yarn. Its some micro-fiber stuff - I forgot the name - probably Lion Brand something. It feels unreal, which is why I continue to bother with it but I have to stop every two rows in order to unravel some monstrous snarl within the ball.

I really like the side vents on these babies. They are so cute. I need to find the perfect button because I feel like the button could really make or break this project.

Last night I cast on another project - the second installation in the Sebastian Sweater series. It's a preppy cable knit using the leftover yarn from Ruth's mittens. I havent done much cable work since I began knitting and I dont know if I like it or not. The stitches seem too loose between the purl/knit changes and Im not sure how much I can fix that with blocking since the yarn is only 50% wool. Sigh. I just hope this sweater fits better or Im totally going to give up knitting anything that isnt a hat.

Driving

2005-12-19T08:40:00.000+07:00

Almost done with the mittens. The thumb of #2 was not to my satisfaction and needs to be frogged. Oh well, c'est la vie.

This weekend I drove a car. I suggested it to Aajaan as a half-joke type statement and dude was like "ok" and pulled over. Wow! So the first couple minutes were a lot of trying to use the turn signal but hitting the window wipers instead and things of that nature. It only took a couple minutes to get used to the whole backwards thing and learning to drive a stick has simply been invaluable to me (case in point: this story). Aajaan said "kap chaa-chaa krup (drive slowly)" and apparently in Thailand, land of no traffic laws, slowly means under 100 kmph. I was flying! It was a glorious day for all foreign teachers without international drivers licenses.

Other than that, English day is tomorrow. Its a special day when we bring holiday cheer and the gift of English language to all the children of Prabhassorn. Or 3 hours of misery depending on how you look at it.

Hanloo?

2005-12-15T19:18:00.000+07:00

These posts have been getting out of control, so Im not even going to bother talking about Sukhothai. Yes, I did go last weekend. Yes, it was amazing. There are many pictures that have yet to be labeled in my photo album.

I thought I would never use math after the SATs...turns out, I was wrong.

My days are split somewhere between studying Thai and knitting. These two activities take up all of my spare time. Which is fine by me. Its better than staring at a wall or watching endless hours of Thai television (although I do that simultaneously sometimes). The cool season makes this possible.

The mittens. The fucking mittens. I said I wasnt going to post them because they are a gift and here they are. Why? Its a secret. Shell find out soon enough.

Ive never knit a pair of mittens before. I didnt have a pattern so much as I had a basic idea of what a pattern for a mitten should look like. So I got some yarn at what passes for the LYS (not the best selection of goods but its better than nothing and/or going to Bangkok everytime I need something to do) and just started going for it.

The result was not as disasterous as originally predicted.

Now the second mitten is presenting problems. This is the part of the story where Miss Stransky learns that she should write down what she is doing if she needs to make something identical after she is done. In retrospect, it all makes sense but at the time I just wanted to bust out a mitten.

Will this next one turn out to be "elephantitis hand mit" or "cozy buddy of #1"? Nobody knows!

I have also learned that, much to my dismay, I dont know how to instarsia in the round (if such a thing is even possible). Duplicate stitching just isnt as cool. Bummers. I would like to point out that I made this anchor pattern using a graph that I drew - from a sketch - with a ruler - on a sheet of paper. It was amazingly time consuming. But it matches my tattoo, isnt that clever?

This Is Your Daughter

2005-12-05T17:30:00.000+07:00

This weekend I returned to Pattaya, sober and fully loaded.

World AIDS day brought out the cuter side of disease here in Asia. The students were given pamphlets that never would have seen the light of day in any American elementary school. I thought they were disturbingly adorable and was in utter dismay about not being able to read. Mummy Penis at the bottom has me wondering what the Thai next to him could possibly say!

There are many stories from this weekend but only one worth writing about here.
I bought a boy in Pattaya.
But I guess the real question is, "who hasnt bought a boy in Pattaya?"

The story begins with the decision to go and see a drag show. There was super campy show or Vegas style glitter and feathers type show. Feeling glamorous ourselves (in our dirty clothes and backpacks) we chose the later and ended up at Boyz Boyz Boyz. A cozy place in the heart of Boys Town.
Now Pattaya is a gross city, as I have said before, with many MANY places that one should avoid. Being a resident of Pattaya and a business owner there, Chris knew exactly where to go, where to avoid and what the deal was with everything. I highly recommend seeking out someone like this if you ever plan on going to Pattaya and you dont want to end up with herpes or your brains on a sidewalk.

The bar is small by American standards. There is a kidney bean shaped stage in the center and it is surrounded 360 by two tiers of plush couches, where we sit. Very Elizabethian.

There are probably a dozen men on stage, but unlike their female counterparts in the go-go bars (who gyrate wildly in hot pants to pulsating techno music), they simply shift around awkwardly in their white briefs. There is a small button with a number pinned to their waistband. As the music plays, they slowly rotate around the stage. More lively ones might dance a little or make flirty eyes with potential customers - but for the most part, they just stand there. Chris calls this "the meat market".

OBVIOUSLY someone was going to bring up the idea of buying one of these boys. Im fairly sure it was me. Questions are flying out of my head: "if I buy them, do I have to take them home?" "how much is it?" "what do they expect me to do?" "can I return him if I dont like him?" etc. Luckily, someone was there with all the answers.

Corinne and I begin conspiring. We laughed and screamed and giggled. "Should we? Should we really?" It felt like such a huge committment to say definitively "yes, I want to buy a prostitute." There were so many questions, so many conflicted emotions...

Then the lights did that flickering thing they do 5 minutes before a show begins and I just blurted out "We have to buy one now before the show starts!" And that was it. We were buying a boy.

So Corinne and I start looking at all our choices since we've decided to share one. We pick out #97 who was dancing and flexing and kind of looked like a jerk - because at least he looked alive. The buying process went like this. Humiliating!

C: "That one!"
W: "Which one?"
K: "That one over there!"
C: "Have him come dance over here so we can get a better look at him."
W: "Certainly. (waiter goes away for a moment) Is this better?"
K: "Yes. (pause to examine dude on stage/talk under the table) OK, we will take him"
W: "OK."

He leaves the stage. Once he is gone, the reality sinks in, I turn to Corinne "dude, we just bought a boy! What the hell do we do with him?" I am mortified. How come no one else around me is mortified? Didnt they just witness Katherine Stransky, the pillar of Roman Catholic virtue, buying a prostitute at Pattaya's premier gay go-go bar? It's almost too much. Almost.

Our boy comes out and sits down between us. He speaks minimal English and after five minutes we figure out that his name is possibly Mook. Alright Mook, so what do we do now? I know that we are supposed to buy him a drink so he orders a beer and holds Corinne's hand. The show starts and it becomes increasingly obvious that he is merely there to do whatever the hell we want him to do. He holds our hands, tells us we are pretty, holds our drinks, says the Thai word for things I point at, etc. Its awesome! Except I cant get over the whole I bought him thing. If I had wanted him to be giving me a lap dance and sucking on my toes, he probably would have done that, too. But the actual interactions with him are, ironically, G-rated. Corinne tried to get him to say something dirty but he didnt understand what she was asking.

His job is to indulge this fantasy, this illusion of closeness, inside a club with a drag show so every once in awhile Id look over and he would be like...trying to stare into my eyes or something. HILARIOUS! I could not look at this guys face! Id burst out laughing. Corinne said she had the same problem. So there was no face looking.
*there are more pix of him in my photo album, ruth*

I was sitting at the end of the couch so I had guys coming up to me, trying to flirt and break our threesome up - get me to buy a dude of my own. It was like the waitress trying to sell you another entre when all you want is an extra plate. Jeez.
And at the end of the show we gave him his tip, said thank you and cut him loose. Then we ate the best Pad Thai ever.

Sitting there in the dark and anonymous boy bar, I began to understand that I was participating in something very different. I've been to strip clubs in the US, as Im sure much of my readership has, but this was like a whole new level of sexual anthropolgy. I began to understand that the sex industry in Pattaya isnt necessarily about fucking. It seems to be first and foremost about fun, which most things in Thailand are. This wasnt the same seedy, pitiful strip club full of miserable people and hopeless, persecuted performers. This was a constructed fantasy of friendship and love that was completely based on the power of money and sex. There are probably hundreds of books written about the misery of foreigners who lose their hearts and wallets to a Thai prostitute and the saying goes "never fall in love in Pattaya". Obviously the allure of the industry is based on something more substantial than just doin' it with something besides your hand.

Queer Flair for Sebastian

2005-11-28T19:13:00.000+07:00

What do you get a teacup chihuahua who is, not only the host of the swankiest gay cafe in Pattaya, but also the most precious thing to exist???

Thats right! A hand-knit sweater with a homogay twist! This peice of queer flair brought to you by cheapo acrylic yarn and size 5/4 needles. Ignore the fact that the dog lives in Thailand (why would he ever need a sweater?) and remember that its the "cool season" and hes quite small.

Im going to try and get a picture of the actual dog in this sweater.

Bridge Over River Kwai

2005-11-28T13:08:00.000+07:00

Whatever you did this weekend, I assure you that what I did was cooler.

I went to Kanchanaburi with Miss Chinda (academic director of Prabhassorn) and her husband (art teacher at Prabhassorn). We stayed with their family and went to the Festival on River Kwai.
The car ride from Chonburi was brutal. I felt like I was going to die from shaken baby syndrome. It seemed like there was construction going on EVERYWHERE. What I cant figure out is what the hell they were doing, because they certainly werent fixing the giant potholes and bumps in the middle of the freeway.

We arrived in Kanchanaburi and spent some time at the house. It was cool to hang out with some actual Thai people on a weekend. The house was really wild too. It wasnt anything like houses of the average American family. For instance, the front door is just some slats that you close and lock with a pad lock. Although the futon w/ mosquito netting we slept on was 1000xs more comfortable than my bed in Chonburi.

The neighborhood kids thought we were just fancinating and we played tag for awhile. But then it turned into this creepy game of "throw animal bones at the foreigners", so that was the end of that.

Ok, now we are at the river, which by the way is pronounced like "kw-aye" not "kw-eye". We are allowed to just walk all over the bridge, which seems odd to me since the bridge is in no way safe. There was a sign that said to be careful if a train happens to show up. Thanks.
The show that was going on was an annual reenactment of the bombing of the bridge. You know, celebrate love & peace & shit. So there was supposed to be a light show/fireworks display and we would have headsets that would tell us the story of the bridge in English. At least this is how it was explained to me.

The show starts out and a train goes over the bridge and there is a lazer light and the bridge is lit up several different colors and then the train goes away while some cheezy music by, I dont know- Journey or someone, is playing in my headset. Im thinking...that was lame.

Then the fun started. I enjoyed every second because Im nerdy history like that. But the culmination is the point in the story where they actually bomb the bridge. This was not your typical fireworks display with "ooh"s and "ahh"s and that sort of thing. This was full scale reenacted warfare!

Imagine a soundtrack playing full blast of airplanes and helicopters and men screaming while fireworks are coming out of the trees and then exploding off the bridge, as if the damn thing were actually blowing up! Then fireworks are going on from the river (they floated fireworks on these rafts in the river, it was so cool) and the Japanese lookout towers on the bridge are set on fire and fall into the river below and bombs are going off and there are bush fires starting on the banks of the river and...IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! It was total chaos!

I had no idea what to think. Except that my father would have really enjoyed that.
Then we rode home in the back of the pickup truck which was ridiculously fun since it is 1) stupid & dangerous and 2) completely illegal in the United States.

Scrub Cloth

2005-11-23T18:03:00.000+07:00

Ok, so here's my one of my rare Thai knitting projects. Its a cotton scrub cloth, which I use in the shower so I dont have to stand under the freezing cold water.

It is a V-stitch crochet, which is different from the yellow TEXTURED V-stitch crochet one I made before I left. Although Im probably the only one that notices and/or cares about the difference.

My disinterest in knitting is a result of the pathetic yarn selection in Thailand. There are glorious textiles to boot - but the yarn is lame.

Oh, and here are the SHOULDER PADS I found inside my work uniform when I got it back from the tailor. Sexy coat, but shoulder pads? Guess again lady...

PS I updated my photo album (see right)

"I Dont Like Sleeping Alone"

2005-11-21T08:21:00.000+07:00

I spent the greater part of my weekend studying Thai with my building manager in the kitchen. The title is a reference to the one and only sentance that he kept repeating over and over in English. Ive learned to accept that some things come across as bizarre due to the limited command of the language. When the kids at school call me sexy for example.
I am trying to get some damn pictures. I dont really like updating without them because I clearly have nothing interesting to say. Im sure no one reading this wants to know about the inner workings of the Thai tonal rules. But just in case you do, I think that's what my next post will be about. Stay tuned...

Mai Pen Rai

2005-11-12T17:35:00.000+07:00

Funny thing happened on the way home from school. Ethan had stopped by Prabhassorn because he was meeting Corinne to go to Ko Samet. So we had 3 people and 2 bikes. Based on skill and general bicycle durability, I was selected to drive with Ethan in my passenger seat. I have no idea how that worked for as long as it did. Eventually, it stopped working and I hit a parked car.
I HIT A PARKED CAR!
Ethan fell from the back of my bicycle and I looked up from under it to see a giant white scrape and a bent side mirror on a brand new truck! Well, shit. Bless these beautiful people of Thailand they come running from out the noodle shop to see if we are alright. I'm like, "dude, here's my address, I am so sorry, please don't sue me...blah blah blah". This guy is shaking his head, "Mai ben rai, mai ben rai (it's nothing, no worries)." THAILAND IS AWESOME! The passenger seat for the bike, however, is not so much.

Today was full of victories and defeats.

First the lowest point of the day:

I went to the laundramat to get my clothes washed. I literally had NO clean clothes - I was wearing the least dirty and it wasnt that clean. So I go to this place and the lady is all talking to me in Thai and I dont get it. Eventually I figure out that she is trying to say she wont wash my clothes for whatever reason. I dont know if it was because I wanted my laundry done so damn bad or if it was because I was so embarassed about not being able to understand her - but I broke down into tears. MORTIFYING!
The best part is that I got home and (after a month now) Boon had finally installed our washing machine. So my laundry got done and I never have to return to Laundry Express again.

Aside from all that, the day was full of productivity. Thats my kind of day!!! I ate some lunch, cleaned, got my immigration photos taken (and they were cute! how lucky is that?!), did my laundry, found a way to get pictures from my digitial camera onto the internet (hell yeah!), and basically just got a bunch of shit done. To match the washing machine, we also got a telephone. Overall, I give today two thumbs up.

Ah yes, and here is some lotus toothpaste I'm in love with. Notice the revolting poopesqueness of it...

Bangkok Books

2005-11-11T14:09:00.001+07:00

The 5 books I got in Bangkok:

1) The Art of Thailand
2) Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (sealed with Chris stamp of approval)
3) The Secret History of the Lord of Musashi and Arrowroot by Junichiro Tanizaki
4) Essential Thai Reference Grammar
5) Thai for Beginners (with CD as well)

Digital Death Trap

2005-11-11T14:09:00.000+07:00

Wow. I hate the digital camera. I apparently don't have the disc or software or whatever to make it of any use to me. So although I have many, many pictures on it - there they will remain.

Here's a story:
I wrote out this story about my roommate in Bangkok who didnt remember me. Well, guess what. She does and I was corresponding with a complete stranger. Email addresses, they need to be so perfect. Oh well, what's a little defamation of character between friends...or acquaintances?

We still dont have a laundry machine. Im on my very last articles of work acceptable clothing today, which is fine because it is Friday. I tried to wash clothes in my sink but its just weird rinsing my clean clothes out with the same sprayer I use to "wipe my ass".
This weekend Corinne is going to Ko Samet. I was invited, but Ive already been there and she is going with program people (who probably wouldnt know me from Betty Galesburg), so Im staying in Chonburi. Although I am planning tentatively on returning to Bangkok at some point in order to find an acceptable English bookstore and a pashmina.
Oh, and come hell or high water, I WILL MAKE IT TO THE POST OFFICE TOMORROW MORNING. This post office and I are fighting an uphill battle with eachother. I think right now I have the low ground.

Spell Check

2005-11-02T15:21:00.000+07:00

Ryan Shubin used to hold the title for Most Creative Spelling Error when he spelling the word 'jealous': G-E-L-I-S-H on a paper in high school.*

*in his defense, he is severely dyslexic

Today, someone stole that honor from him. A small child in my P-6 class spelled the word 'broccoli': B-R-O-K-O-I-E.**

**in her defense, she is Thai

I'm honestly just amazed that I knew what the hell she meant.

The Fast Lane

2005-10-31T18:04:00.000+07:00

Just a quick observation about my new bicycle. I love having the bicycle. It enables me to see places that are out of my walking distance (which extends in a quarter-mile radius from where ever I am) and to get some much needed exercise.

That said, I pretty much take my life into my own hands every time I mount the white patent leather banana seat and grab onto the crooked, but none the less functional, handlebars. Not only are there no lights...or helmets...or LAWS...but there are also no brakes. That's right. No. Brakes. So I have to come to a decent cruising speed and just let my feet drag on the ground. Unless Im wearing a pair of good shoes and then I just slow to a stop, which takes quite a while depending on how fast I was going and then I have to walk back to my destination. But that doesnt really work at traffic signals.

I wouldn't give up the bike and it has some other redeemable features like the passenger seat, a really cool bell, and a purple paint job. But it makes me wonder if my ability to walk and feed myself is worth a trip to the post office.

Also, Ive been dying to use the idiom "storm in a teacup".

SIN CITY

2005-10-30T12:29:00.000+07:00

"Let me tell you about the time I shat myself just to prove a point..."

Oh My God. Pattaya Thailand is the grossest city on earth.
Not in the sense that its dirty. Its actually really clean and beautiful.
***Its like the gorgeous CEO who is really charming and rich and available but it turns out that hes a completely disgusting arrogant moron who asks you if you swallow (while you are stirring his coffee because he is too lazy to stir it himself).***
For the most part, the entire weekend involved lounging next to the pool and sitting in the sauna and/or steam bath. That was very refreshing.
I went out one night though and was SHOCKED by how much prostitution there was. It was un-freakin-real! I was under the impression that there was some. But this was amazing. There were ugly white guys with Thai women EVERYWHERE. Old bent over men with huge noses and liver spots strolling arm in arm with leggy twenty year old women who are smiling and dabbing the dudes drool with a handkerchief. I one point I felt bad because maybe one of the couples I was gawking at was a legitimate couple. But we talked with people who were completely unaware of the fact that them visiting Pattaya twice a year when they leave the oil rigg just to bone the local girls for 2000 baht is something they should probably keep to themselves.
Aside from that - everything you can imagine and go "eww! people dont really do that" is literally right around the corner in Pattaya. Some guy walks up with a menu and it says things like 'eel' or 'ping pong' or 'frog' and hes not trying to tempt you into a restaurant. Yuck.

ALTHOUGH: there is one thing about the nightlife (well, day/nightlife. it really doesnt get any better when the sun comes out) is the bartenders play games. Bartenders are almost ALWAYS women and they have a plethora of games to play with you when you are drunk. Its cute and they are really good. I beat one bartender at connect four and I was so damn excited I (apparently) almost knocked Corinne on her ass while telling her about it. You can play connect four or jenga or checkers, etc. I love playing board games! I wonder why more bars dont have board games...

Check the new D&Gs...sunglasses...

The Show Must Go On

2005-10-27T14:45:00.000+07:00

Yesterday was a total nightmare. I basically took the bus back to Chonburi and fell asleep in a puddle of my own misery.

But today has been good to me. I am back in Pattaya and this time I am prepared with passport, wallet, and other such necessary items. My feet smell terrible (as anyone who wears Chacos could attest to, they begin to get funky after awhile) but all is right with the world again. My e mail sucks but really, whos doesnt?

Apparently you cant walk a block in this town without bumping into either a bar, a sex show or a bar with a sex show. There is SO MUCH prostitution in this area. Its very blatent and no one seems to think that its anything to apologize for or conceal in anyway.
The guy next to me in the Internet Cafe just laughed so hard at his e mail that snot came out of his nose and hit the computer screen. Gross.

Alright, time to get some food. I am now completely addicted to Thai Ice Tea (with milk, of course)

Wai Me?

2005-10-26T12:26:00.000+07:00

This day is already bothering me.

I woke up from a really weird dream where I was Mr.A's foster kid. I mean, really...imagine how that must have felt when I woke up. Then Corinne and I get ready to go to Pattaya. Of course we get caught in some flash storm on the way to the Internet cafe. So we take a motorcycle taxi. DUDE CHARGES US 40 FREAKING BAHT! I wanted to punch him. We only drove like 60 yards! So then the Internet wasnt working so we went to school and used the net here. My email isnt working...again. Ugg.

~~~4 hours later~~~

Now I am in Pattaya and my e mail STILL isnt working. I want to barf on someone. I left my passport and my wallet in my room in Chonburi (I hope) and now I'm in Pattaya with 530 baht and its like 200 just to eat. I have to take the damn bus back to Chonburi tomorrow morning (if I can restrain myself for that long) because apparently Corrinne wants to go to Ko Samet. I want to just crawl into a hole and die at this point. I am having the most incredibly shitty luck since I've arrive in Chonburi.

So now I am even more frustrated than I was at noon. All I want to do is read my email or possibly send one. I'm going to drink more beer and hopefully after I get back from Chonburi tomorrow all of this will seem like a far off dream-like experience.

BTW: I still havent found the post office.

SO HOT!

2005-10-25T15:03:00.000+07:00

It's so damn hot in Thailand. It's by far the hottest place I have ever lived. The humidity is absolutely suffocating. AND THIS IS THE COOL SEASON!

I finally made it to Chonburi. I wish that there were pictures to show off but I haven't been able to outsmart the digital camera just yet.

This town is very cute but there are certain things that I just havent been able to figure out. Why is there only one post office and how come and can't find it? Why do people keep serving me my soda in a plastic baggie with a straw? Is it safe for an elephant to walk down the side of the road - even if its wearing safety lights? All these things continue to perplex me.

Perhaps the most puzzling part of the whole experience has been the change of accommodations. Me and the other English teacher from my program have been placed in a brand new apartment complex. So new, in fact, that it isn't even completely built yet. We are the only people living in there except for our building manager and his son (who, by the way, is completely facinated with EVERYTHING we do - it's cute). So there is construction happening at all hours. There are also two mangey dogs who live outside. We have named them Lek & Moo.
My room, which will hopefully be illustrated on here soon, is about the size of my single in college. The bed is a boxspring covered in batting. It took two trips to the Tesco and three different futons before that situation was resolved. The room is so new it's frightening. It's like...sterile.
The best part however, is the bathroom. There is no hot water and thats kind of lame. But the entire bathroom is the shower (if you have seen bathrooms like this before then you know what I am talking about). So I can sit on the toilet and wash my hair! Speaking of which, there is a separate little sprayer type thing next to the 'loo and this is used to wash your filthy bits after you are done doing what you must do. Honestly, I can't even say how smart I think this is. That little contraption is my new best friend.

Everyone should be happy to know that I am healthy and regular. No gnarly diseases unless profusely sweating counts as one.
I need to figure out where the post office is.
I am hungry too. Last night I ate mangos & sticky rice with coconut milk. And beer.

It's Thai Time

2005-10-18T21:48:00.000+07:00

Yes, so out of complete lack of want for writing large mass e mails, this will officially be the lamest post ever. Although I'm sure any and everyone who bothers to read this is probably dying for this type of information right now. My goddamn e mail isnt working right now. That is particularly frustrating considering the hoops and bothers I had to jump through just to find Internet access.

At any rate, I am in Thailand. It is very hot. Like swimming through the air style hot. Not for the faint of heart. Don't worry though, the hotel is air conditioned. We have taken several Thai language courses and I am proud to report that I understand nothing. Sawadii kha, yo.

Bangkok is cool. It's polluted, much like how I remember it. I finally went to the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, which I took some lame obligatory pictures of (soon to be posted here, I forgot my camera back at the hotel tonight). The light quality was astounding.

The elephant trekking has been cancelled. WHAT THE HELL OEG?! I guess some astrologer said that there would be catostrophic flash floods in Kanchanaburi. Guess what? Not even a drop of rain. So we arent going to the River Kwai or frolicking with the elephants. Instead, we are going to Ayutthaya which is the old capital (from like 400+ years in the past). There is a whole lot of "free time" in the itinerary, indicating that they didnt have the slightest idea of what to do with us. Everyone is very cross about the circumstances of this trip.
Honestly, I think we will all enjoy it no matter where we end up because at least we wont be flossing smog out of our teeth.

There are some famous Sukothai ruins in Ayuttaya so that should prove to be fun. We played trivia the other day and I tried to trick the other team with a tie breaker question where the answer was "Bal Rog" (so pop quiz, what was the question?) and some jerk got the answer. I should have known. She probably watches anime, too. Loser.

Notice the irony since I thought up the question, right.

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU RUTH!

2005-10-11T10:29:00.000+07:00

Thaibound

2005-10-10T15:28:00.000+07:00

I have relocated...again.

I left Portland, Oregon last week. I would go ahead and say that about 65% of my PDX experience was gnarly. But there were things that I enjoyed and would highly recommend.
I'm in Seattle right now camping out at my parents house for a few days. It's like pergatory. On Wednesday night/Thursday morning I fly out of SeaTac for TaiPei. From there to Bangkok to Chonburi where I will reside in my little house on the coast. It's odd to me how these obvious changes don't bother me all that much. My biggest concern is surrendering my ferrets and figuring how to continue knitting in a tropical climate.

I spent this morning playing DDR with my little sister and my gentleman friend. I'm not sure how I feel about DDR. I know for sure that I lack the grace and skill to make it look like dancing. Furthermore, it's challenging for me to come to terms with the fact that I'm enjoying the same activity as the kids in college who fought with foam swords and dressed like they were going to a funeral (and who, by the way, took over my Japanese classes, propogating a very negative stereotype that is unfairly given to us Asian language speaking white kids). Then again, DDR is really fun to play early in the morning and totally reminds me of the Power Pad games that could be played on the original Nintendo.

I'm tired. I knit two more scarves just before leaving PDX. One was a granny square thing from Lion Brand yarn free pattern webpage. I was excited at first, thinking that somehow granny squares would be fast and simple. And they were...until it came time to connect them all together. SUCKS! The other scarf was for my darling and it was a rib stitch grey number made from Wool-Ease Thick & Quick. I am trying to decide if I'm even going to attempt to block it before I ship it out to its new home. On one hand, it might lay flatter so that it looks like a pattern instead of a wiener roll. On the other hand, it might just be a huge waste of time since blocking acrylic things (don't be fooled by the yarn's name, folks, it's only 20% wool) doesn't seem to do anything but leave me with wet towels and pins in the floor.

Eh, Im getting bored with writing this. I hate updating without pictures and since I dont have a digital camera at my disposal anymore Im a bit stuck out of luck. Im more tired than I was the first time I wrote it as well. Nigh nigh.

So That's How You Use Circular Needles!

2005-09-16T09:35:00.000+07:00

This stupid sweater doesn't fit anyone!!! I hate it!!! It was my stupid fault because the pattern called for different sized needles & yarn

BUT FOR SOME REASON I just thought that I would go ahead and make it with what I had and somehow it would fit. WRONG! Not only does it not fit me. It doesn't fit anyone. Except this club member who shall remain nameless (but makes the sweater look gorgeous but is unfortunately not of the proper gender for this particular garment).
Anyways, the pattern is found at http://glampyreknits.tripod.com/glampyrephotos/id62.html For the most part, this website is rather cute. I like the heart w/ the crossed needles. I want to embroider it onto a dish towel. But I can't becuase I don't know how.
Anyway, so I figured out what to do with circular knitting needles. I had seen a pair once before in a box full of knitting stuff my host mom in Japan gave to me. I was rather confused about what in the world that giant thing was for and had several failed attempts at using it. Much like watching someone try to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Very stupid. I enjoyed figuring it out and also used place markers to work the puffy sleeve things and other cool new tricks.

At this point I'm really just knitting stuff to see if I can. Same reason why I'm writing about it on the Internet.

Forever & A Day

2005-09-16T08:46:00.000+07:00

So I finally finished this stupid blanket!!!

The Christmas afghan (so named because I started it on Christmas Eve-2004) has finally been completed. Sort of. It was supposed to be twin bed length but I got bored and I'm leaving the country soon. So it has magically become a throw/lap blanket. Clever, huh?
The pattern is fairly simple. I got it off the Internet somewhere (probably on about.com) and it's called something like a "granny ripple throw" ...whatever. So it's all clusters of three double crochets. I think it looks like pixels on the computer screen. The yarn is clearly Red Heart acrylic *cheapy cheap time* If it were full length you would use two skiens of each color. I used about 1.05 of each color.

I made a ripple afghan using double crochet last year but the dcs weren't clustered so there was no dot-affect. That blanket, the only full length afghan I have ever had the patience to complete, is owned by Sean Dowdy of South Chicago. At least I hope he still has it - that thing took me forever & a day...

Summer With the CYOC

2005-08-21T02:49:00.000+07:00

I love summer camp. I love working at Camp Don Bosco. I just returned from a totally awesome week with all my culty camp buddies. Rose convinced me to go and it almost didn't happen but, sure enough, I was the happy lodge leader of Glacier Lodge for seven glorious days and six glorious nights. The kids were amazing and my staff was apolitical, which is desirable in a staff. Everyday was more awesome than the one before. We had campfires (which, by the way, are full concert experiences at Bosco), rode horses, went on hikes, camped on our overnight, made foil dinners, sang annoying song at our table, etc. It's hard for me to explain why summer camp is so great, I suppose it's just something that you either get or you don't. But I left, unwillingly, feeling energized and slightly high. I am so lucky to be part of the CYOC.

Fruit Snacks

2005-07-29T05:55:00.000+07:00

Hey hey! I finished this scarf after two days of work and two weeks of mulling over what kind of pattern to use. Turns out complex yarns and simple patterns are fun (and look more complex than they truly are). I began work on another scarf and have been staring (glowering) at the green circular sweater. Growl.

I would like to point out that my wonderful model is also Youth of the Month for Blazers Club and my best photography student. Go Whitney!!!

I taught my coworker how to knit and she has begun making the cutest bulky weight scarf. I was so proud of watch her yesterday in the coffee shop, going to town on the needles. It makes me remember how Kun taught me to knit- and now I can pass that on to someone else- and Talia will pass it on to someone and etc. I'm officially part of the crafty ladies worldwide knitting circle.

It's been so hot here in PDX recently. My lack of air conditioning has resulted in a lack of motivation to do much of anything. Especially cleaning. The apartment is a disaster. It's so hot: it's like the surface of the sun or a sauna or something else that is scorching hot. I mostly just lay on the floor in my underoos, staring at the sewing project I wanted to finish two weeks ago. I can't knit at home anymore because my hands get so sweaty that the yarn starts to get all funky. Obviously it will be challenging to continue this hobby in Thailand.

Which, by the way, my plans are all falling into place for. I have some minor BS with my student loans officer and my medical exam but for the most part its been smooth sailing. If only I can get off my hoohoo and organize or pack my things. I KNOW that I will be doing a majority of the packing 5 days before I have to leave.

Besides all that I have a knot in my shoulder that is making my hand and face numb. I want to watch Lilo & Stitch and just lay around with the dictionary. ...don't worry Courtney, Robbie makes me crazy, too.

The ShizHouse

2005-07-19T04:53:00.000+07:00

I really want to use the word apologia since I just learned it AND a blog seems like the perfect place to use such vocabulary. But it also seems rather predictable. I am becoming one of those people who obsessively thinks about knitting. Although I have several other DIY projects in the works it seems unlikely that I will get around to any of them since Mo is in PDX for the week. I have a stomach ache that will not go away and I fear the worst (closed abscess perhaps).
I just cleaned poopoo off the stall (read: STALL, not just toilet) of the boys facilities. It was actually empowering since my masculine coworkers couldn't seem to stand up to the challenge without gagging. I attribute my hard disposition to 1) working at summer camp and 2) owning ferrets.
This most recent project, the ne plus ultra of knitting if you will, is a toddler winter cap. I like it so much that I may just stitch out a larger one for myself or someone close to my heart. The little ear flaps are crackin'. This was made for the project Afghans for Afghans (afghansforafghans.org). It is modeled here by the lovely, yet not toddler aged, Maia. As you can see by my color choices, this is the perfect project for thinning out the stash.

Phat Camp

2005-07-15T23:50:00.000+07:00

Another project...Accomplished. I don't sweat the technique.
This is another baby thing for the same kid. It's an acrylic (Im poor) sport weight blanket. I changed needle gauges every 7 rows and worked the entire thing in garter stitch, which got very boring after awhile. I also held two yarns together. It made the blanket fluffier but was sort of challenging to keep the same tension on both yarns. Next up - finish the Christmas afghan.

You're My Obsession

2005-07-01T22:34:00.000+07:00

Anyone who knows that I knit knows that I never finish projects. My apartment is pergatory for sweaters and afghans. So it was very exciting for me to complete my first sweater. My pulse was racing as the final stitches were shaped during the late episode of Dharma & Greg (obviously I don't have cable). There are some slight technical problems and some obvious abnormalities but I would say that it is a very successful effort. Besides, it's for my boss' baby so it's not as if anyone using it will know the difference if the shoulder hem is straight or not.
I was thinking about trying out needlepoint (cross stitching, whatever its called). I did it way back when a couple times but I was seriously considering giving that craft another go. I was shopping for a wedding present** yesterday and nothing says marriage like a set of hand stitched tea towels, right?!

** Registry or not, its terribly difficult to pick an acceptable gift when on an extremely limited budget. I like the way its done in Japan, with a nice card and a fistful of cash. I realize that cramming $15 into a card will probably just make me look cheap and/or lazy. So I went with a card and the least practical gift on the list.

It's Much Like a Competition

2005-06-19T00:20:00.000+07:00

My ferret had a relatively violent seizure the other day. I dont even go to the doctor for my own problems but somehow she got hospitalized for a week. It was gross but, much like the robbery, I just stared at it and was sort of fascinated. Now she falls over like shes drunk all the time.
Ive been finding all these people on thefacebook.com (yet another online thing Ruth convinced me to sign up for). I was annoyed that people I didnt like in high school went to super prestigious universities.
I had a dispute type thing with some of the junior high girls at work the other day. It was over whether or not it is alright to hit someone (or threaten to hit them) if they hit or threaten you first. So heres the problem. I think they have being a strong female confused with just being mean. The whole self defense thing is only applicable until you are out of danger and then you are just being spiteful and malicious. And of course their parents are telling them to stand up for themselves but most of these girls are taking that as a license to unload their confusion and aggression onto other kids. Im a big believer in non violence. I dont know if Ive ever been in a fight...I tend to run my mouth a lot but it doesnt mean much since I wont follow through on anything. Sometimes I think that I dont stand up for myself enough and I lash out at people who are weaker than I am to compensate. But after talking to these girls I realized that its okay for me to not do anything about it at the time. Later I fantasize about slapping this girl or putting bleach in that guys water or whatever. Its more important that I learn ways to prevent the problem from escalading than getting into a situation where Im concerned about "winning" the fight. Really, if there is nothing to prove than there is no reason to fight beyond what is necessary for removing yourself from the situation. I wish that these girls would start equating power with something other than force.
On that note, Im totally going to punch that guy from Ebay who sent my book THREE WEEKS after I paid for it. And I forgot about it, so Im missing the big crazy-ferret-lady moving sale this weekend (which, by the way, Ive been waiting almost 2 months for). Balls.

TASK FORCE SUPER HERO

2005-05-11T15:50:00.000+07:00

This is about the time that I start freaking out. I have so much crap to do before the summer rolls around and those little punks up in the NE start expecting me to actually entertain and educate them all at once. I also have about two weeks before my excollege revokes my emailing privilegd...priviledge....pivleges...forget it. My rights! MY RIGHTS TO E MAIL. I have to actually open that comcast thing my mother set up for me in February.
I have left my boyfriend, lost my ferrets, and somehow contracted ringworm (of all disgusting fungi that one could possible attract). So basically my week is not going so swell. Also tonight after work I went to Rite Aid to pick up some fungicide cream (those who were present for the freshman year athlete's foot episode can surely understand my panic upon diagnosis) and of all the stupid luck, I walk in right as they are being robbed. I mean, really...I felt so stupid. Im just standing there in the doorway and this poor girl behind the counter is getting beaten up and Im like STANDING THERE. I have no clue what to do with myself. So, being the giant coward that I am, I do absolutely nothing. And of course afterwards the dude runs off with all the money and the countergirl is trembling like she has whatever comes right before hypothermia and Im feeling so incredibly stupid.
I have seen enough episodes of Law & Order that is should be second nature to me by now. But no. I didn't even get a decent look at the dude who was four feet from my face. Pathetic. I am the worst witness ever. Not only did I do nothing to stop it (ie. jump on the dude and start pummeling him with my purse) or do anything positive to improve the situation (block the door he was running towards, which I was conveniently standing right in front of), but I didn't even remember what color the dudes jacket or hair or ANYTHING was. These things happen because people like me literally just stand around and watch them happen instead of doing anything to help. Even if I had been hurt, at least I wouldn't have to feel like such a jerk.

Oh well, now Im going to finish this baby bootie (gift) that Im knitting and go to bed...COVERED IN SHAME!

In love with Craig

2005-04-20T01:51:00.000+07:00

I think Craigslist.com is just so incredible. Then again, I am the girl who was addicted to ebay up until...right now. And Im probably still in love with Ebay becuase I dont have a vehicle to pick things up around portland (I think the delivery service is sweet). I got these two precious gerbils off craigslist from some girl who just didnt want them anymore. And I gave her $10 for their tank and food. I think I should have talked her down to $5 because the tank was cracked and the food was rat/mouse food, but I felt bad since she was just giving the animals away and they were so sweet I would have paid for them as well. At any rate, Im now working to fix up the tank and give these gerbils all the spoilings of my long gone but not forgotten Comodus and Princess Powderfoot. Although my new gerbils are lesbians so they wont be eating their young anytime soon. Im going to keep the pets at work and let the kids name them so I will keep everyone posted on the name situation. Skylar (the guy in the science room) said that if the gerbils dont work out in my room then we can just feed them to his snakes. super gross.

DIVA ME

2005-04-11T10:34:00.000+07:00

It has finally happened. The moment I have been waiting for since Erin Haley first brought the damn thing up to me. I got a menstrual cup. I really bought into it hook, line & sinker, too. Unbelieveable really how I just sing the praises of the DIVA cup although I have yet to even use it. Although last cycle I did try the disposable version (though slightly different) Instead. It was so fun. Honestly, my period was fun. And there was so much gore and blood it was really rewarding to finally see what I produce instead of just a giant dirty cotton ball. I liked seeing the blood just by itself, I think that made it seem less dirty to me and more like water or something else clean. At any rate, I got this cup thing online and am just on pins and needles waiting for the next menstration. I was so excited that I carried the damn thing around in my purse (inside it's special little pouch) and pulled it out in the middle of Hooters today so I could show it off to my boyfriend's friend. I AM THAT IN LOVE WITH IT. I dont even care if its socially gross, or actually gross, to pull the thing out during lunch, I want to shout the praises of the menstrual cup from the mountain tops. And now I am writing about it in this blog. Which is also nerdy. Go see Sin City. Its a great movie and looks just like the novels.

My GOD! ...sort of

2005-03-27T15:57:00.000+07:00

It's Easter time here at the Stransky house. I am in Seattle for the weekend with my sexy fiend roommate and literally could not be any more tired. The club had a sleepover/lock-in type thing last night. It went much smoother than the last one (Galesburg clambake junior sexfest) but now Im totally beat. I got home at 630 in the morning and left for the parents house at around 11. Luckily, Chris drove. We are about to do facial masks while enjoying the movie SAW and comparing who has the worst post-taco bell gastric problems! Ruth has demanded a more light hearted approach to blogging and this is my attempt. Interesting huh? I sort of miss Portland, but not that much. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DO MISS??? I miss money. Chris and I are so poor we literally tried to roll tabacco in coffee filters the other day. Also, I like Louis Vuitton. I need to not be in debt so much. Poorness sucks (but is kind of chic) so the goal is to not be poor by the end of...sometime. My mom tried making Thai inspired food tonight and it wasnt all that bad.

THE GLORY OF THE 80s

2005-03-20T03:29:00.000+07:00

This is literally beginning to feel like the low point of my life. I am spiritually and mentally totally defeated. I wasn't even looking forward to the great high points in my life, and this i was actually looking forward to. I wanted to be 22 and living on my own. I wanted to be urban and watch my generation deplete from the safety of being educated. Not so unpredictably, rather than observe, I have become the problems that suck us into a void. I work, I play, and I dream of all these things that I would/should/could be doing. I have the youth and the mobility to just drop everything and make anything happen. But I lack the resources. I feel like Im going to be in this same place in 10 years and Ill be looking back and saying "now i am too old, where did my life go?" The novelty of drugs and sex and the hilarity of these situations left once I realized that it wasnt so novel, it was just what I do. It has apparently become who I am. I suppose the more optimistic of my generation would tell me to just do and stop bitching but I am stuck inside this life. Money, education, opportunity has all brought me here. I am stuck in Portland with the weight of the 80s and my own idealism holding me here.

2005-03-15T04:06:00.000+07:00

Ugg. I feel so lazy lately. Well, the weekend was a huge bust. I smoked a lot of cigarettes and shit. It was really boring. Now Im sort of late for work but not really because I was coming in early on my own volition. It would be cool if I actually had something to say for this blog. BJ has this pass thing at blockbuster and we rent the dumbest movies all the time simply because we can. I dont know if thats a proper way to go about movie viewing. You cant just watch terrible films because it is free. I actually saw Kumar and whoever go to White Castle. So embarassing. I dont think Im very mature.

The Job Market

2005-02-19T04:13:00.000+07:00

Ugg. So I finally got a job in here that I feel is alright with me. I'm working at the Boys and Girls Club. Honestly, it doesn't even really feel like work all the time. It feels like I spent 5 hours a day hanging out with kids. Although the rejection just keeps pouring in. The Peace Corps sent me some generic letter telling me how I am so wonderful and my skills are best used somewhere else. Just like every other job that rejects me. Do you think employers even really think that? And its not even like employment, its volunteer. I feel like I did everything they asked me to. Even this job I have now I only got because the Peace Corps said i needed more tutoring experience. I read all the books. Ugg. I suppose everyone has to deal with rejection and if getting turned down from some government program makes me feel like it all wasnt worth it then I probably wasnt in the spirit anyway. So Im going to start looking into other abroad service programs. Chris and I are going to take a very long vacation when our lease is up. Maybe to South America. I dont know. Just somewhere that isnt here because suddenly all my plans have changed. I need to take a shower.

2005-02-13T11:16:00.000+07:00

Dude, now I am just like everyone else.

Ruth has yet again found a way to get me to sign up for the weird internet things that I would otherwise never do...ie. friendster.

Yesterday I ate at Hooters and for the first time actually talked to the waitress. Or at least one of them. She was alright but at the end of the evening when she was soliciting a dollar from me for a muscular dystrophy charity it became very clear that she had NO idea what MD was. But I gave the dollar anyway.