THE GLORY OF THE 80s

This is literally beginning to feel like the low point of my life. I am spiritually and mentally totally defeated. I wasn't even looking forward to the great high points in my life, and this i was actually looking forward to. I wanted to be 22 and living on my own. I wanted to be urban and watch my generation deplete from the safety of being educated. Not so unpredictably, rather than observe, I have become the problems that suck us into a void. I work, I play, and I dream of all these things that I would/should/could be doing. I have the youth and the mobility to just drop everything and make anything happen. But I lack the resources. I feel like Im going to be in this same place in 10 years and Ill be looking back and saying "now i am too old, where did my life go?" The novelty of drugs and sex and the hilarity of these situations left once I realized that it wasnt so novel, it was just what I do. It has apparently become who I am. I suppose the more optimistic of my generation would tell me to just do and stop bitching but I am stuck inside this life. Money, education, opportunity has all brought me here. I am stuck in Portland with the weight of the 80s and my own idealism holding me here.