In Other News

I have completed another hat. This one was requested by a friend but without any specifications. It fits my head but I have a relatively large head so I think maybe it will be too big for him. (That sentence sounded like I dont speak English well.) I also made a duplicate stitch pattern for it to cover the messy color jog job I did. Not only did that not work, it made the "lightbulb" look more like a "scary face". Ill try to get a picture of the hat up soon.

Im totally over my mothers blanket. I began this stupid thing the day after New Years and quite frankly Im getting sick of looking at it. I have one more seed stitch square, which I began yesterday and then its assembly only. I have to finish this thing before Mr A goes home. This is now my goal and until its done - everything else loses priority.

I got my Stitch It Kit in the mail. HOLY MOSES! Its fucking AWESOME! I whipped out a tea towel for Mr A (somehow I convinced myself that he really needs a tea towel) with palm trees and pineapples and other Hawaiian-esque decorations. Embroidery is AWESOME! Next I want to make a pillow case. Anyone want a pillow case with customized needlework work on it?
Ill never lose heart for knitting but when it comes to hobbies for broke college graduates - stitching is totally taking the cake.

IN OTHER NEWS:
Went to Pattaya this weekend and had a nice mix of wholesome and not-so-much-wholesome fun. Sunday was fun at the Ripley's museum in the Royal Plaza Mall. The Infinity Maze was this thing where you get gloves and socks and walk through a maze made of mirrors and other perception distorting apparatuses. It wasnt so much a maze with turning corners and dead ends and things like that, it was more like find the door out of this crazy room. It was short but interesting and the Haunted House made me want to cry several times. Im not so great with haunted house type things since I scare easily. The 4-D movie was a log ride in the amazon. It was hilarious to be wearing those nerdy 3D glasses at our age but the real fun was the 6 asian girls behind us who were SCREAMING in terror!

Saturday night was not really what I would consider family fun time, but was interesting all the same. After a very suptuous meal at Niddy's Nook (Teacher Christopher & his husbands dining establishment) we took off to find something to do. I wanted to see the show at Throb, which I am told features an obese drag queen performing backflips and sexy backup dancers. After a substantial amount of pleading it became obvious that my company was not going to be comfortable hanging out in Boyz Town all night. So we went to Walking Street.

Ive heard lots of rumors about Walking Street but have never been there myself. We briefly went into a clubby bar called Lucifers Dungeon or something along the same line of stupidity but when you arent drinking or dancing, clubs arent all that much fun. I really had my heart set on seeing a show - ANY show - so finally we agreed to see the only kind of show they offer on Walking Street.
Now, Ive been sort of debating whether or not to write about this. I wanted to go and I thought it was fun, but Im sure it doesnt bring a sparkle to my parents eye to know that their precious daughter was at a "pussy show". Last night Mr A was reading a book about sex traffiking in Asia by a professor at Yale or some other genero-ivy league and not only had dude been to a pussy show, he had been to the same place we went to! I guess I can rationalize my bad behavior by explaining that I was merely partaking in a sort of sexual anthropology.

On with the show...

There are guys who walk up and down the street advertising these shows with "menus" that say what the show entails. I dont like the idea of talking them mostly because Im afraid that Ill be sold into white slavery or something else ridiculous. Since I had company with me the risk was minimal. I read the menu, checked it over with my buddy and the guy led us to a doorway that was up a flight up stairs. We paid 300B, which included a drink!, and the door opened.
Inside looked a lot like Boyz Boyz Boyz. There were a dozen or so girls with tacky outfits (aqua blue and white fringe), tall boots, and a button with a number. The walked between two stages with bored looks on their faces, dancing a little or checking their reflections in the mirror. Mr A fell asleep. I watched some drunk Germans sitting next to us and started to wonder if this was going to be a total rip off.

Then the same Star Wars type music came on and the lights dimmed and the show was about to start. I cant describe the whole show (mostly because Im afraid I will get thrown off blogger) but I can tell you that things happened in that bar that left me shocked and amazed! Like I sat there for a full minute with my mouth open and my eyes blinking in wonderment! At first it was a little bit lame - drawing a picture with a pen in the vagina. To me, that doesnt require much skill. Then it was like - woman was pulling RAZOR BLADES out of her vagina or blowing darts from her vagina and popping balloons that guests were holding up as targets. It was unbelievable! And this went on for a full 45 minutes! I truly cant imagine how these women acquired these skills. But, at any rate, I was really impressed.

After the show we left and I was feeling sick from my ear infection so the night was cut short. But really, how do you top that? If we had gone anywhere else, would I have been able to think about anything but that woman smoking cigarettes with her genitals? Probably not.

The best part of the night was the part when I realized that the gay clubs offered a show that was 1000 times more wholesome entertainment (lights, songs, glitter, dancing) than the girly bars (razors, cigarettes, pulling things out of orifices). I just wish there was a way to work that into the HRC canvassing rap when lameo asshole tells you that "the queers corrupt our society".