SIN CITY

"Let me tell you about the time I shat myself just to prove a point..."



Oh My God. Pattaya Thailand is the grossest city on earth.
Not in the sense that its dirty. Its actually really clean and beautiful.
***Its like the gorgeous CEO who is really charming and rich and available but it turns out that hes a completely disgusting arrogant moron who asks you if you swallow (while you are stirring his coffee because he is too lazy to stir it himself).***
For the most part, the entire weekend involved lounging next to the pool and sitting in the sauna and/or steam bath. That was very refreshing.
I went out one night though and was SHOCKED by how much prostitution there was. It was un-freakin-real! I was under the impression that there was some. But this was amazing. There were ugly white guys with Thai women EVERYWHERE. Old bent over men with huge noses and liver spots strolling arm in arm with leggy twenty year old women who are smiling and dabbing the dudes drool with a handkerchief. I one point I felt bad because maybe one of the couples I was gawking at was a legitimate couple. But we talked with people who were completely unaware of the fact that them visiting Pattaya twice a year when they leave the oil rigg just to bone the local girls for 2000 baht is something they should probably keep to themselves.
Aside from that - everything you can imagine and go "eww! people dont really do that" is literally right around the corner in Pattaya. Some guy walks up with a menu and it says things like 'eel' or 'ping pong' or 'frog' and hes not trying to tempt you into a restaurant. Yuck.

ALTHOUGH: there is one thing about the nightlife (well, day/nightlife. it really doesnt get any better when the sun comes out) is the bartenders play games. Bartenders are almost ALWAYS women and they have a plethora of games to play with you when you are drunk. Its cute and they are really good. I beat one bartender at connect four and I was so damn excited I (apparently) almost knocked Corinne on her ass while telling her about it. You can play connect four or jenga or checkers, etc. I love playing board games! I wonder why more bars dont have board games...

Check the new D&Gs...sunglasses...