Why You? Wai Kruu!!!

wai = a thai greeting and sign of respect shown by placing the hands together in a prayer like gesture and bowing the head or the knees
kruu = teacher

This morning was the Wai Kruu ceremony at Prabhassorn. It was beautiful and thankfully took up the time of all my morning classes. We are going on two weeks without teaching Kindergarten. Rock on.

So the ceremony was really special. The morning started out with all the children lining up in the courtyard at the front of the school to give alms to the monks. So the monks went around with baskets and we wai-ed them and put food in their silver buckets. I think they left with like 4 truck loads of sustinence and the children left with good karma so everyone was a winner.

Wai Kruu is a teacher appreciation thing. The teachers all sat in the front of the auditorium in a semi circle of chairs. There was a traditional Thai style music band of students playing and the marching band was there although I still havent figured out why. The children gave some speeches and did some praying and then they came up and gave their favorite teachers flowers and/or presents.

It was so precious. They would bow on their knees in front of us (which seemed uncomfortable) and wai. Sometimes they smooshed their little heads into our laps or sniffed us or whatever. The more agressive/appreciative children would hug and some of the teachers were crying. And it was unbelievably sweet but I really didnt know what to say. "Thank you"??? I ended up saying "good student" and touching them on the head or the shoulder since it appeared to be what other teachers were doing.

I kept a close eye on who was giving me flowers and who conveniently forgot to come up and wai me! All in all, I made out pretty good with a half dozen roses, 3 MaLais and a calendar. It was kind of like a popularity contest. Reminded me of when we bought Santa-grams or whatever in high school and sometimes you debated whether or not to buy one and send it to yourself just so people would see you getting it during class and youd look cool. Or maybe that was just me.

Le Divorce

How in the world did Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announce plans to divorce and my email inbox wasnt promptly flooded with messages from friends and loved ones? I had to find out from MSN.com and even then it was questionable until I googled. I have no regular access to this type of information. The only thing I have is an issue of People from October 2005. Its not as if I want to know about everything that happens in the glossies. I want to know about the failures of people who make more money than I do (which at this point is just about everyone) and what they were wearing when it happened.
As far as The Newlyweds goes: I still dont understand why they are famous and why people like her so much. Was a living in a parallel universe when she was the fat one that couldnt dance? I really feel like people were giving me this excuse of their realtionship being cute and watchable (whats your excuse now jerk?) when all this time it was just a matter of being confused by her commercial appeal and Nick Lacheys...I dont know. I think he was supposed to be good looking or something. What would be awesome is if he got super popular now and she became the most hated woman in the country (she & Tom Cruise could have sob parties since hes a fucking nut bag too). Would serve her right for flying the Jesus flag and then divorcing her less popular husband within the first 5 years of the relationship. Its so Hollywood - its so high school - I cant believe anyone would find it anything but revolting.
Sigh...love is dead in America. But the dollar marches on.

Works in Progress

One glove is now completed. I used a pattern found in the current issue of Knitty (see links). Its worked in garter stitch with some grafting (barf) at the end.

The worst part about this glove is the black yarn. Its some micro-fiber stuff - I forgot the name - probably Lion Brand something. It feels unreal, which is why I continue to bother with it but I have to stop every two rows in order to unravel some monstrous snarl within the ball.

I really like the side vents on these babies. They are so cute. I need to find the perfect button because I feel like the button could really make or break this project.


Last night I cast on another project - the second installation in the Sebastian Sweater series. It's a preppy cable knit using the leftover yarn from Ruth's mittens. I havent done much cable work since I began knitting and I dont know if I like it or not. The stitches seem too loose between the purl/knit changes and Im not sure how much I can fix that with blocking since the yarn is only 50% wool. Sigh. I just hope this sweater fits better or Im totally going to give up knitting anything that isnt a hat.

Driving

Almost done with the mittens. The thumb of #2 was not to my satisfaction and needs to be frogged. Oh well, c'est la vie.

This weekend I drove a car. I suggested it to Aajaan as a half-joke type statement and dude was like "ok" and pulled over. Wow! So the first couple minutes were a lot of trying to use the turn signal but hitting the window wipers instead and things of that nature. It only took a couple minutes to get used to the whole backwards thing and learning to drive a stick has simply been invaluable to me (case in point: this story). Aajaan said "kap chaa-chaa krup (drive slowly)" and apparently in Thailand, land of no traffic laws, slowly means under 100 kmph. I was flying! It was a glorious day for all foreign teachers without international drivers licenses.

Other than that, English day is tomorrow. Its a special day when we bring holiday cheer and the gift of English language to all the children of Prabhassorn. Or 3 hours of misery depending on how you look at it.

Hanloo?

These posts have been getting out of control, so Im not even going to bother talking about Sukhothai. Yes, I did go last weekend. Yes, it was amazing. There are many pictures that have yet to be labeled in my photo album.

I thought I would never use math after the SATs...turns out, I was wrong.

My days are split somewhere between studying Thai and knitting. These two activities take up all of my spare time. Which is fine by me. Its better than staring at a wall or watching endless hours of Thai television (although I do that simultaneously sometimes). The cool season makes this possible.

The mittens. The fucking mittens. I said I wasnt going to post them because they are a gift and here they are. Why? Its a secret. Shell find out soon enough.

Ive never knit a pair of mittens before. I didnt have a pattern so much as I had a basic idea of what a pattern for a mitten should look like. So I got some yarn at what passes for the LYS (not the best selection of goods but its better than nothing and/or going to Bangkok everytime I need something to do) and just started going for it.

The result was not as disasterous as originally predicted.

Now the second mitten is presenting problems. This is the part of the story where Miss Stransky learns that she should write down what she is doing if she needs to make something identical after she is done. In retrospect, it all makes sense but at the time I just wanted to bust out a mitten.

Will this next one turn out to be "elephantitis hand mit" or "cozy buddy of #1"? Nobody knows!

I have also learned that, much to my dismay, I dont know how to instarsia in the round (if such a thing is even possible). Duplicate stitching just isnt as cool. Bummers. I would like to point out that I made this anchor pattern using a graph that I drew - from a sketch - with a ruler - on a sheet of paper. It was amazingly time consuming. But it matches my tattoo, isnt that clever?

This Is Your Daughter

This weekend I returned to Pattaya, sober and fully loaded.


World AIDS day brought out the cuter side of disease here in Asia. The students were given pamphlets that never would have seen the light of day in any American elementary school. I thought they were disturbingly adorable and was in utter dismay about not being able to read. Mummy Penis at the bottom has me wondering what the Thai next to him could possibly say!



There are many stories from this weekend but only one worth writing about here.
I bought a boy in Pattaya.
But I guess the real question is, "who hasnt bought a boy in Pattaya?"


The story begins with the decision to go and see a drag show. There was super campy show or Vegas style glitter and feathers type show. Feeling glamorous ourselves (in our dirty clothes and backpacks) we chose the later and ended up at Boyz Boyz Boyz. A cozy place in the heart of Boys Town.
Now Pattaya is a gross city, as I have said before, with many MANY places that one should avoid. Being a resident of Pattaya and a business owner there, Chris knew exactly where to go, where to avoid and what the deal was with everything. I highly recommend seeking out someone like this if you ever plan on going to Pattaya and you dont want to end up with herpes or your brains on a sidewalk.




The bar is small by American standards. There is a kidney bean shaped stage in the center and it is surrounded 360 by two tiers of plush couches, where we sit. Very Elizabethian.



There are probably a dozen men on stage, but unlike their female counterparts in the go-go bars (who gyrate wildly in hot pants to pulsating techno music), they simply shift around awkwardly in their white briefs. There is a small button with a number pinned to their waistband. As the music plays, they slowly rotate around the stage. More lively ones might dance a little or make flirty eyes with potential customers - but for the most part, they just stand there. Chris calls this "the meat market".

OBVIOUSLY someone was going to bring up the idea of buying one of these boys. Im fairly sure it was me. Questions are flying out of my head: "if I buy them, do I have to take them home?" "how much is it?" "what do they expect me to do?" "can I return him if I dont like him?" etc. Luckily, someone was there with all the answers.

Corinne and I begin conspiring. We laughed and screamed and giggled. "Should we? Should we really?" It felt like such a huge committment to say definitively "yes, I want to buy a prostitute." There were so many questions, so many conflicted emotions...

Then the lights did that flickering thing they do 5 minutes before a show begins and I just blurted out "We have to buy one now before the show starts!" And that was it. We were buying a boy.

So Corinne and I start looking at all our choices since we've decided to share one. We pick out #97 who was dancing and flexing and kind of looked like a jerk - because at least he looked alive. The buying process went like this. Humiliating!

C: "That one!"
W: "Which one?"
K: "That one over there!"
C: "Have him come dance over here so we can get a better look at him."
W: "Certainly. (waiter goes away for a moment) Is this better?"
K: "Yes. (pause to examine dude on stage/talk under the table) OK, we will take him"
W: "OK."

He leaves the stage. Once he is gone, the reality sinks in, I turn to Corinne "dude, we just bought a boy! What the hell do we do with him?" I am mortified. How come no one else around me is mortified? Didnt they just witness Katherine Stransky, the pillar of Roman Catholic virtue, buying a prostitute at Pattaya's premier gay go-go bar? It's almost too much. Almost.

Our boy comes out and sits down between us. He speaks minimal English and after five minutes we figure out that his name is possibly Mook. Alright Mook, so what do we do now? I know that we are supposed to buy him a drink so he orders a beer and holds Corinne's hand. The show starts and it becomes increasingly obvious that he is merely there to do whatever the hell we want him to do. He holds our hands, tells us we are pretty, holds our drinks, says the Thai word for things I point at, etc. Its awesome! Except I cant get over the whole I bought him thing. If I had wanted him to be giving me a lap dance and sucking on my toes, he probably would have done that, too. But the actual interactions with him are, ironically, G-rated. Corinne tried to get him to say something dirty but he didnt understand what she was asking.

His job is to indulge this fantasy, this illusion of closeness, inside a club with a drag show so every once in awhile Id look over and he would be like...trying to stare into my eyes or something. HILARIOUS! I could not look at this guys face! Id burst out laughing. Corinne said she had the same problem. So there was no face looking.
*there are more pix of him in my photo album, ruth*

I was sitting at the end of the couch so I had guys coming up to me, trying to flirt and break our threesome up - get me to buy a dude of my own. It was like the waitress trying to sell you another entre when all you want is an extra plate. Jeez.
And at the end of the show we gave him his tip, said thank you and cut him loose. Then we ate the best Pad Thai ever.

Sitting there in the dark and anonymous boy bar, I began to understand that I was participating in something very different. I've been to strip clubs in the US, as Im sure much of my readership has, but this was like a whole new level of sexual anthropolgy. I began to understand that the sex industry in Pattaya isnt necessarily about fucking. It seems to be first and foremost about fun, which most things in Thailand are. This wasnt the same seedy, pitiful strip club full of miserable people and hopeless, persecuted performers. This was a constructed fantasy of friendship and love that was completely based on the power of money and sex. There are probably hundreds of books written about the misery of foreigners who lose their hearts and wallets to a Thai prostitute and the saying goes "never fall in love in Pattaya". Obviously the allure of the industry is based on something more substantial than just doin' it with something besides your hand.