Queer Flair for Sebastian

What do you get a teacup chihuahua who is, not only the host of the swankiest gay cafe in Pattaya, but also the most precious thing to exist???



Thats right! A hand-knit sweater with a homogay twist! This peice of queer flair brought to you by cheapo acrylic yarn and size 5/4 needles. Ignore the fact that the dog lives in Thailand (why would he ever need a sweater?) and remember that its the "cool season" and hes quite small.

Im going to try and get a picture of the actual dog in this sweater.

Bridge Over River Kwai

Whatever you did this weekend, I assure you that what I did was cooler.


I went to Kanchanaburi with Miss Chinda (academic director of Prabhassorn) and her husband (art teacher at Prabhassorn). We stayed with their family and went to the Festival on River Kwai.
The car ride from Chonburi was brutal. I felt like I was going to die from shaken baby syndrome. It seemed like there was construction going on EVERYWHERE. What I cant figure out is what the hell they were doing, because they certainly werent fixing the giant potholes and bumps in the middle of the freeway.

We arrived in Kanchanaburi and spent some time at the house. It was cool to hang out with some actual Thai people on a weekend. The house was really wild too. It wasnt anything like houses of the average American family. For instance, the front door is just some slats that you close and lock with a pad lock. Although the futon w/ mosquito netting we slept on was 1000xs more comfortable than my bed in Chonburi.

The neighborhood kids thought we were just fancinating and we played tag for awhile. But then it turned into this creepy game of "throw animal bones at the foreigners", so that was the end of that.

Ok, now we are at the river, which by the way is pronounced like "kw-aye" not "kw-eye". We are allowed to just walk all over the bridge, which seems odd to me since the bridge is in no way safe. There was a sign that said to be careful if a train happens to show up. Thanks.
The show that was going on was an annual reenactment of the bombing of the bridge. You know, celebrate love & peace & shit. So there was supposed to be a light show/fireworks display and we would have headsets that would tell us the story of the bridge in English. At least this is how it was explained to me.


The show starts out and a train goes over the bridge and there is a lazer light and the bridge is lit up several different colors and then the train goes away while some cheezy music by, I dont know- Journey or someone, is playing in my headset. Im thinking...that was lame.

Then the fun started. I enjoyed every second because Im nerdy history like that. But the culmination is the point in the story where they actually bomb the bridge. This was not your typical fireworks display with "ooh"s and "ahh"s and that sort of thing. This was full scale reenacted warfare!

Imagine a soundtrack playing full blast of airplanes and helicopters and men screaming while fireworks are coming out of the trees and then exploding off the bridge, as if the damn thing were actually blowing up! Then fireworks are going on from the river (they floated fireworks on these rafts in the river, it was so cool) and the Japanese lookout towers on the bridge are set on fire and fall into the river below and bombs are going off and there are bush fires starting on the banks of the river and...IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! It was total chaos!

I had no idea what to think. Except that my father would have really enjoyed that.
Then we rode home in the back of the pickup truck which was ridiculously fun since it is 1) stupid & dangerous and 2) completely illegal in the United States.

Scrub Cloth

Ok, so here's my one of my rare Thai knitting projects. Its a cotton scrub cloth, which I use in the shower so I dont have to stand under the freezing cold water.



It is a V-stitch crochet, which is different from the yellow TEXTURED V-stitch crochet one I made before I left. Although Im probably the only one that notices and/or cares about the difference.


My disinterest in knitting is a result of the pathetic yarn selection in Thailand. There are glorious textiles to boot - but the yarn is lame.





Oh, and here are the SHOULDER PADS I found inside my work uniform when I got it back from the tailor. Sexy coat, but shoulder pads? Guess again lady...


PS I updated my photo album (see right)

"I Dont Like Sleeping Alone"

I spent the greater part of my weekend studying Thai with my building manager in the kitchen. The title is a reference to the one and only sentance that he kept repeating over and over in English. Ive learned to accept that some things come across as bizarre due to the limited command of the language. When the kids at school call me sexy for example.
I am trying to get some damn pictures. I dont really like updating without them because I clearly have nothing interesting to say. Im sure no one reading this wants to know about the inner workings of the Thai tonal rules. But just in case you do, I think that's what my next post will be about. Stay tuned...

Mai Pen Rai

Funny thing happened on the way home from school. Ethan had stopped by Prabhassorn because he was meeting Corinne to go to Ko Samet. So we had 3 people and 2 bikes. Based on skill and general bicycle durability, I was selected to drive with Ethan in my passenger seat. I have no idea how that worked for as long as it did. Eventually, it stopped working and I hit a parked car.
I HIT A PARKED CAR!
Ethan fell from the back of my bicycle and I looked up from under it to see a giant white scrape and a bent side mirror on a brand new truck! Well, shit. Bless these beautiful people of Thailand they come running from out the noodle shop to see if we are alright. I'm like, "dude, here's my address, I am so sorry, please don't sue me...blah blah blah". This guy is shaking his head, "Mai ben rai, mai ben rai (it's nothing, no worries)." THAILAND IS AWESOME! The passenger seat for the bike, however, is not so much.

Today was full of victories and defeats.

First the lowest point of the day:

I went to the laundramat to get my clothes washed. I literally had NO clean clothes - I was wearing the least dirty and it wasnt that clean. So I go to this place and the lady is all talking to me in Thai and I dont get it. Eventually I figure out that she is trying to say she wont wash my clothes for whatever reason. I dont know if it was because I wanted my laundry done so damn bad or if it was because I was so embarassed about not being able to understand her - but I broke down into tears. MORTIFYING!
The best part is that I got home and (after a month now) Boon had finally installed our washing machine. So my laundry got done and I never have to return to Laundry Express again.

Aside from all that, the day was full of productivity. Thats my kind of day!!! I ate some lunch, cleaned, got my immigration photos taken (and they were cute! how lucky is that?!), did my laundry, found a way to get pictures from my digitial camera onto the internet (hell yeah!), and basically just got a bunch of shit done. To match the washing machine, we also got a telephone. Overall, I give today two thumbs up.

Ah yes, and here is some lotus toothpaste I'm in love with. Notice the revolting poopesqueness of it...

Bangkok Books

The 5 books I got in Bangkok:

1) The Art of Thailand
2) Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (sealed with Chris stamp of approval)
3) The Secret History of the Lord of Musashi and Arrowroot by Junichiro Tanizaki
4) Essential Thai Reference Grammar
5) Thai for Beginners (with CD as well)

Digital Death Trap

Wow. I hate the digital camera. I apparently don't have the disc or software or whatever to make it of any use to me. So although I have many, many pictures on it - there they will remain.

Here's a story:
I wrote out this story about my roommate in Bangkok who didnt remember me. Well, guess what. She does and I was corresponding with a complete stranger. Email addresses, they need to be so perfect. Oh well, what's a little defamation of character between friends...or acquaintances?

We still dont have a laundry machine. Im on my very last articles of work acceptable clothing today, which is fine because it is Friday. I tried to wash clothes in my sink but its just weird rinsing my clean clothes out with the same sprayer I use to "wipe my ass".
This weekend Corinne is going to Ko Samet. I was invited, but Ive already been there and she is going with program people (who probably wouldnt know me from Betty Galesburg), so Im staying in Chonburi. Although I am planning tentatively on returning to Bangkok at some point in order to find an acceptable English bookstore and a pashmina.
Oh, and come hell or high water, I WILL MAKE IT TO THE POST OFFICE TOMORROW MORNING. This post office and I are fighting an uphill battle with eachother. I think right now I have the low ground.

Spell Check

Ryan Shubin used to hold the title for Most Creative Spelling Error when he spelling the word 'jealous': G-E-L-I-S-H on a paper in high school.*

*in his defense, he is severely dyslexic

Today, someone stole that honor from him. A small child in my P-6 class spelled the word 'broccoli': B-R-O-K-O-I-E.**

**in her defense, she is Thai

I'm honestly just amazed that I knew what the hell she meant.